So there it was a Wednesday evening in the Big City. Game 6 of the World Series. The stupid Yankees and Phillies are playing so I could really give two shits, but I was there for the atmosphere and who knows, maybe some potential babes. I'm posted up in the outdoor tiki bar, sitting at my corner table, one deep as always. I spark up a Newport and sip from my PBR, trying to unwind after a long, stressful day at work. Usually when I'm out I try, for the most part, to avoid other people. I don't like making friends, I don't wanna be your buddy, I just wanna be left alone. Unless of course you're a female. It was business as usual until She walked in. Out of all the tiki bars in the world, She had to walk into mine.
She was a stunner, that's for sure. About five-seven, wearing tight jeans, knee high boots, a low cut top showing her ample bosom and brunette (which my absolute preference bar none after my disastrous run with a red head). She looked a little inebriated, well, alot inebriated and She was going from table to table. I assumed She knew these people, maybe she was a popular gal. Turns out she was just wasted. Well, She sits at the table beside me and asks for a lighter. I oblige and She offers me to sit down and talk with her.
The first thing I keep thinking is "Man, She is hot". She really was, despite her drunken state, you could tell underneath it all She was a radiant gal. She proceeds to tell me She's new in town, doesn't have many friends, and works as a horse trainer. I tell her I am also new in town and immediately She suggests we be friends and have out more and blah blah blah. I get her number and stuff and everything is hunky-dory. I notice though she is having trouble keeping her eyes open. When I see her reach down and unzip the side of her boot I see why.
She had a stash of Xanax pills stashed in her boot and she was popping them like candy. It broke my heart to see it. I tried to keep her occupied, so we went to play pool. Meanwhile, every so often She would wonder off and I'd see her hanging all over some other dude or being felt up by another chick. There was even one point I left her alone and came back to find another girl sucking on her breasts as a dude filmed it. Yeah, it was outrageous and I felt sick about it, so I pulled her aside and said she needed to leave, and I would take her home. She was allowing herself to be taken advantage of, stumbling around, and I shudder to think what woulda happened if I left her there.
Instead of being grateful for my help, She responded indignantly that I was trying to "control" her and that she knew what she was doing...despite evidence of the contrary. So I said fuck it and walked away. Sure enough, She returned twenty minutes later saying how grateful She was that I was looking after her and not trying to take advantage and how she would like to leave now. By this point her eyes were almost totally shut, she was slurring really bad and could barely walk two steps straight. She was drugged out of her gourd.
On the car ride home, which took about thirty minutes because she kept telling me to turn wrong ways because she wanted to "spend more time with me", I saw a side of her that made me feel like she was a good person deep down. She proclaimed her love of horses, how the job meant everything to her, how she was a much different person when she wasn't drunk. She spoke of how she wanted to hang out when she was sober, and how I was so nice, and took care of her and didn't wanna just use her like everyone else. I could see through the drug induced fog surrounding her that She just needed a friend, or someone to care for her.
I dropped her off at her home, she kissed me goodbye and I went on my merry way. I don't think I will ever call her. It's that kind of baggage I don't need in my life anymore, but I saw someone in distress and decided to help them. I have been there before...drugs had a control of my life for many years, and I did many things that I regret and embarassed myself numerous times. I can't understand why people use drugs, now that I am clean. I see people when they are fucked up, and I see the pain and desperation on their faces. It breaks my heart and I guess, having been there, done that, I always wanna reach out and help someone.
This girl has everything going for her. A great career, good looks and from what I could tell from the glimmers of conscious thought she had shown, she had brains too. Yet She is pissing it all away to pop pills and let herself be objectified by men. It makes me sick. And it makes me sad. But there's girls like her everywhere, that care about and fall for the wrong types of guys, who don't appreciate help and can't respect acts of kindness. It's depressing to watch, and yet I was an idiot once again from trying to save someone who can't even save themselves.
I wish some women would have more faith in themselves and not let themselves be viewed as pieces of meat or sexual objects. A real man doesn't want a woman like that, nor do I even usually give them a second glance. I'm not that desperate to chase women, I don't need it in my life to survive. But these girls out there, being foolish, running with the wrong types of dudes and pissing their lives away, when they have so much potential, I will never understand. In this case, it was obviously drugs that had taken ahold of this girl and she is so far lost in it she doesn't even realize it. That's what drugs will do to you...strip everything away until nothing else matters but getting high. By then you're so fucked up you don't even realize how fucked up you really appear to others and those around you.
Drugs are for losers and douchebags. I know. I once was one. But not anymore. It took the inner strength inside me and the encouragement of friends and family but I rose above. I wish other people would too and realize being high is not all it's cracked up to be.
Until then, I suppose these girls will just keep breaking my heart.
<3
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