Spotlight: Philly Rap Scene

When it comes to hip-hop, I usually explore different regions of the country, checking out the hottest spitters from every corner of the map.  Back in the day, it was Harlem all day: Ma$e, Cam, Jimmy, Juelz, Jae Millz, McGruff, Meeno, Loon, etc.  Virginia got that heat too, with Clipse and Fam-Lay.  Atlanta has a varied mess of talent, from upper echleon spitters like Outkast, Killer Mike and TI down to dumbed down trappers like Gucci Mane and OJ da Juiceman.  Today I figured with the Phillies in World Series and the Eagles..um, well, they are the Eagles, I guess,  I'd shine a spotlight on who I think are five of the most underrated rappers from the City of Brotherly Love. 

REED DOLLAZ
Reppin: Southwest Philly

Rapping since the age of 11, Reed is one of Philly's hottest up an comers.  At 23 years of age, he's young and ready to show and prove.  He has released a successful series mixtapes and DVD's and is already a regional superstar.  His Myspace claims he is the "highest grossing rapper" in Philly.  I don't really see a reason to a lie about that really, as it's both an impressive feat and not much to brag about at the same time.  Reed has an interesting flow, reminiscent of a mixture of Lil Wayne (in a good way) and Young Neef from the Young Gunz.  Slick wordplay and gun talk is the word of the day with Reed Dollaz, which doesn't re-write the book but works for today's rap environment.  I could see him blowing up with the right promotion, as evidenced by tracks like "Hood in My Pocket" and "Dollaz on Deck".  Keep an eye for Reed Dollaz, I expect him to make some more noise in '10, unless he's content with just being the best in his hometown for financial security but less fame.

AB-LIVA
Reppin': North Philly

Liva is a consummate veteran, and a wizard with the words.  A descriptive storyteller who possesses a commanding mic presence and a voice that forces you to listen.  Liva been doin' it for years, first as a part of the Major Figgas crew, then (and still) as a ghostwriter for such artists as Dr. Dre, and for the past seven years, part of the Clipse Re-Up Gang crew.  Still no solo albums to his name, which after over a decade-plus in the game can be disheartening, but Pusha T promises a Liva solo album on Re-Up/Columbia Records next year, so we shall see.  For now, here's a classic Liva joint called "The Sermon" to introduce you to the Philadelphia boss.

GILLIE DA KID
Reppin': North Philly


Gillie is another founding member of the Major Figgas crew, and is a dude who shoulda been blown up YEARS ago.  First coming onto the scene with the Figgas in '99, they had a radio hit with "Yeah That's Us", which the couldn't translate into a major record sales.  After returning to the underground for a bit, Gillie resurfaced on Cash Money Records where he ghostwrote for Baby and Lil Wayne for a few years.  After sitting on the shelf, he departed and embroiled himself in a war of words with Wayne (which, even from an unbiased standpoint, Gillie murdered him).  Several more mixtapes later, Gillie was supposedly in a bidding war between G-Unit and Atlantic records, before finally deciding to go solo with his own Figgas 4 Life Entertainment.  He's supposed to have his OFFICIAL solo debut out by next year, called "Get it How You Live".  A true legend and the King of Philly, Gillie never forgot his hood and continues to hold it down today.

ROSCOE P. COLDCHAIN
Reppin': South Philly

Signed to the Neptune's Star Trak label for as long as I can remember, Roscoe has been holding it down as an unsung hero of the hip-hop game.  His unorthodox flow and voice sets him apart from anyone else out there, and his devil-may-care attitude is abrasive and engaging.  He's had a couple minor hits, appearing on Clipse "Got Damn", releasing his own minor hit "Delinquent" and contributing many hot guest verses.  I think there is still potential for Roscoe with the right push behind him; sadly, he was nabbed on a double murder charge at the end of 2008, and I have not been able to find out anything else online about it, so his status is up in the air right now.  However, if you wanna hear some real shit, don't look further than Mr. Coldchain.

SANDMAN
Reppin': North Philly

Sandman is one of the hardest working hustlers in Philly. After rolling with Clipse and the Re-Up Gang for a number of years, he decided he was tired of waiting and was ready to take his career into his own hands.  He launched his own company, Cannons Incorporated and has released a slew of mixtapes including "#1 Suppliya" and "Philadelphia Ego".  He has a street album out called "Heart of the City" that I am anticipating listening to, haven't been able to get my hands on it yet though.  He's got a lazy off-kilter way of spitting that really catches your ear and you'll find yourself repeating his trademark "Yeeeeaaah Cannoooooons" that uses to introduce his presence before every verse.  Definitely a dude who is deserving of some shine, and with his hustle and work ethic, I can see him reaching it. 

Favorite Songs, Vol 1.: "I Can't Hold Back" by Survivor

I am a sucker for '80's hair bands.  From the obvious like Poison and Motley Crue all the way to the obscure like Dokken and Krokus.  There was never a genre of music that inspired visions of good times and just good feelings quite like it.  Hair metal also gave us possibly the greatest contribution to music as we know it:  the power ballad.  Many nights I have spent with songs like "When I Look Into Your Eyes" by Firehouse playing on the MP3 while thinking back on lost love and what could have been.  Let's face it, when it comes to the females, I have had a long history of letdown and broken hearts, and nothing speaks to the SOUL like a good power ballad.  They stir up such a variety of emotions inside: longing, optimism, bittersweet nostalgia.  Man, so many songs take me back to different memories in the vast chambers of my mind, it would be hard to list them all.  Tonight, we have an awesome song from Survivor.  You may know them as the band who sang "Eye of the Tiger" but any true Survivor fan knows there is so much more.  Powerful, hard rockin' and uplifting songs like "American Heartbeat" and "Poor Man's Son" will put some fuckin' hair on your balls and a passion in your heart....don't believe me?? Try to fight the urge to grow a wicked 'stache and peel off in a Camaro while blasting this:



I digress.  I need to stay on topic here.  The song I am profiling from Survivor is my favorite ballad they ever recorded, and that says a lot because they have recorded some doozies.  "Can't Hold Back" is the musical epitome of that initial moment when you meet a woman and realize, "I really wanna have sex with her".  Or realize that she means the world to you...whatever floats your boat.

The driving beat, AMAZING keyboard and guitar work and soaring vocals make this a key inclusion in any makeout session.  You kids with your Trey Songz and Usher don't know shit about wooing a woman.  It's music like this that likely conceived me.  Shit, this song came out in '84 so it wouldn't really be possible.  Unless my parents had the bootleg copy but I don't think anyone, even then, was scouring for bootleg Survivor.  Makes you wonder if anyone ever bothered...imagine being in a big city and going to street vendor and he tries to push this on you as some unreleased hot shit:

Look at that fuckin' cover.  Now by looking at the straight-up tacky album art typical of '80's releases, you wouldn't think anything of it.  But if you knew it contained such musical ecstasy as "I Can't Hold Back" I guarantee you wouldn't hesitate.  This song, truly, I want to be my wedding song.  If I ever get married, I want to hear the opening of this song as I gaze into my bride's eyes, feeling her "tremble when we touch", the "hands of fate reaching out to both of us".  I cannot do this song anymore justice...it's like a Roman Candle of sexual tension and joy.  FEEL IT, and love the awesomeness of the video:

Survivor, "I Can't Hold Back", available on the 1984 album Vital Signs.

Mikey at the Movies: "Paranormal Activity"

(Editor's note: I watched the screener copy that was released in 2007.  It is the same as the theatrical version except with an alternate ending.  I have read about the theatrical ending and will discuss both in this review.)

Hype is the worst thing in the world.  I HATE hype.  Why do people hype shit up?  Things never live up to what people build it up to be.  Whether it's a movie, an album or your wedding day, we love to build, build, build only to be disappointed and nitpick to death.  Such is the case with "Paranormal Activity".  The movie originally made the rounds in 2007 at various film festivals until Steven Speilberg saw it.  He claimed the film caused him to experience paranormal phenomena of his own and thus picked up the film to distribute through Dreamworks.  A slick ass marketing campaign followed, building this movie as not just a film but an "experience" and drew comparisons to "Blair Witch Project" due to its bare-bones presentation and based-on-reality premise.  It was proclaimed the scariest movie in years, of all-time, you name it.  Well I finally got my mitts on the original 2007 cut, since no theaters around me are showing it. Honestly, it was better than I expected but not without flaws.

Right off the bat, to all the goonies out there who believe this shit really happened and this really is found footage, go jump off a bridge.  The same idiots who thought the Blair Witch Project really happened are being suckered by this movie, even though it inexplicably states in press materials and reviews and otherwise this is a FICTIONAL film.  But in a world where people still believe pro wrestling is real, you're bound to have some people holding out.  But yes, this movie is fictional and I feel like an idiot for having to explain that.

The acting.  Well, the girl Katie was pretty good.  She was easy on the eyes, conveyed her fear pretty realistically and I bought what she was going through.  The broad has been pursued by this demonic presence since she was eight years old, and throughout the film, she is slowly pushed to her breaking point.  Kudos to her.  The dude, Micah (pronounced "Meek-ah") is a grade A douche.  I could not STAND this guy.  From his weak attempts at being both funny and tough, he was an absolute tool.  Plus, who the fuck is named "MEEKAH"?  With a name like that, you might as well be born with an Affliction shirt on and tendency to like Jagerbombs.

As far as the movies main intention, which is to SCARE YOU, it's hit and miss.  On one hand, it's trying to be presented as "real", and there are some things that you are like "Whoa, shit I could see that happen".  But the double edged sword is that because its presented as "real", some of the more implausible things that happen just make it feel really hokey.  Then again if these same scares were used in a horror film already being presented as "fake", they would be totally useless and cliche.  Typical loud noises, jump scares, etc.  The only time I was caught off guard was one of the initial scares where there was this sudden loud BOOM.  Made me jump but thats it.  Some of the shit was comical, i.e., the Ouija board catching on fire and Katie being dragged down the hall way while Micah tries to tough talk the spirit.  Moments like that really took me out of the movie and made me laugh at it.  However, the movie does have some creepy elements so it's not a total bust.

My next agenda: I absolutely loved the ending, and don't know why it was changed for theaters.  It was more realistic and suited the tone of the movie better.  Katie becoming possessed and killing Micah made more sense, because it could realistically happen. All the sleep depravation and being cooped in the house, coupled with some of the frightening things, I could believe it, her being drove to kill him.  But the theater ending, which is described as her developing demonic strength and feasting on Micah's flesh, just pushes the envelope for me.  In a movie that is being played off as "actual events" I prefer the original ending, not the Spielberg redo.

Overall, a decent flick.  Better than "Blair Witch" in the category of over-hyped-pretend-to-be-real movies.  Not gonna give you nightmares, it's not the "scariest movie ever" and good Lord I can't wait to see how they mangle the already-greenlit sequel.  Worth wasting your time on, that's for sure.

FINAL SCORE:  2.5 out of 4

Cine-Whack: The Worst of the Worst in Film: "Disaster Movie" (2008)

• Matt Lanter as Will "William"
• Vanessa Minnillo as Amy
• Crista Flanagan as Juney MacGuff / Hannah Montana
• Nicole Parker as The Enchanted Princess / Amy Winehouse / Jessica Ann Simpson
• Gary "G. Thang" Johnson as Calvin
• Kim Kardashian as Lisa
• Ike Barinholtz as The Policeman, Wolf, Anton Chigurh, Hellboy, Batman, Alex "Alexander" ("Beowulf"), Prince Caspian
• Carmen Electra as The Beautiful Assassin
• Tony Cox as Indiana Jones
• Tad Hilgenbrink as Prince Edwin

(picture and cast list courtesy of Wikipedia)

Let the record show I had no intentions of ever seeing this movie.  I saw the poster at the movie theater last summer and said to myself, "Oh for the love of God, here we go again".  But sure enough, yes, there they went again. In the infamously bad tradition of "Epic Movie", "Scary Movie 4", and "Dance Flick" comes "Distaster Movie" another awful "parody" movie released in 2008 and in a way, completely lived up to its moniker.  Remember when parodies actually succeeded at poking fun at their subject matter? For example, Mel Brooks' "Spaceballs" or the classics "Airplane!", "Top Secret!", "Hot Shots!" and of course the awesome "Naked Gun" series.  Not the case with "Disaster Movie" or any other "____ Movie".  Nearly every single joke in this movie falls flat, and it's not even really spoofing disaster movies. Bear with me, this was so painful to watch that my brain is still numb.  Allow me to explain.

The general "plot" is about a meteor shower and other stuff destroying a city.  The actors are all pretty much shit but at least you get to look at Kim Kardashian and her amazing..ahem..assets.  Sadly, she gets killed about 25 minutes into the movie and I would personally like to kill the person responsible for that.  When all your movie has going for it is KIM KARDASHIAN you don't kill her off. 

The movie takes it's limp "Cloverfield" meets "Day after Tomorrow" premise and uses it to  take references of popular movies, characters and TV shows, shoehorn them into the plot at random and expect you to laugh.  Unfortunately, you don't.  It wasn't until 45 minutes into the movie that I first smiled, a sequence involving a rabies infected version of "Alvin and the Chipmunks" singing death metal songs.  It was somewhat original and yeah, I laughed.  But that was pretty much it in the humor department.

Let's take a look at some these "parodies" shall we: you got them spoofing the awful-already movie "10,000 BC" by featuring American Gladiators and Amy Winehouse as a sabretooth tiger.  Seriously who is this supposed to be appealing to?  Follow that up with a "High School Musical" number replete with painfully bad Jessica Simpson and Justin Timberlake impersonators and you got one stinker of a movie.  Do you find Indiana Jones being spoofed as a black-midget-who-is-also-a-womanizer to be funny? Then this movie is for you!!  How about a gay Beowulf, which coulda been funny if I wasn't sledgehammered with the fact that, yes, HE'S GAY! Hell there's even a "Step Up" (another shitstorm of a movie) inspired dance off between a drugged out prostitute version of the chick from "Enchanted" and Juno!! The writing and the jokes are so dated and juvenile it's just embarassing for all involved.  I'm guessing the teen and preteen audience still giggle at fart and hit-to-the-balls jokes but I'm over it.

I hated "Juno" to begin with, but I thought that movie could be ripe for lampooning.  In the hands of capable comedic writers, it could.  But the way they spoof the character of Juno here is so heavy-handed and devoid of subtlety, and repeated ad nauseam, that it just never is funny.  It's like they wanna make a spoof, but they are afraid people might not totally get the joke so they force it down your throat.  It's just uncomfortable and ridiculous.

There's an extended three or four minute joke involving "Hannah Montana" which is not even really a joke.  It's Hannah Montana trapped under a meteor shilling merchandise.  But everyone gets that what Hannah Montana is, a vehicle to sell shit to tweenage girls.  It's not funny.  It's too obvious.  Fast forward to the climax of the movie, and when a live action Kung Fu Panda shows up, and talks about his sexual escapades with the Enchanted Princess broad and it's just obvious this movie never had much to work with in the first place.

People need to remember what a parody is.  These movies aren't parodies.  They just take well known characters and put them in absurd situations and expect you to find it funny.  Wrong.  This movie is not worth stealing, it's not worth watching if absolutely nothing else is on, it's not worth shit.  This is one of the most epic failures of modern cinema I have ever seen.  Avoid like H1N1 or a Lil Wayne concert.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE: The Future?

Karma can be a motherfucker.  Just when you think you at the end of your rope, exhausted every possible lane of your life or career and all hope is lost, something happens that puts you right back on top.  Just ask the members of Slaughterhouse, hip-hop's most troubled and possibly most talented supergroup going.  Between the four of them, there is more squandered major label deals, troubled pasts and rap beefs than 100 50 Cent's.  However, there is also enough punchlines, metaphors and sick flows to shut down any rapper worth their salt on the microphone, and today I'll take the time to examine and rate each member invidually and let you know why they are worth checking out.

JOE BUDDEN

HOMETOWN: Jersey City, New Jersey

BEST KNOWN FOR:  2003's mega hit "Pump it Up", appearances in the "Def Jam Vendetta" video games, dating/fucking/whatever Gloria Velez and Tahiry, nominated for a Grammy for "Pump it Up"

I was first introduced to Joe Budden when he was killin' shit on DJ Clue mixtapes alongside Fabolous and Paul Cain.  He was always sick with the punchlines and had an interesting vocal tone that made him stand out, complete with quirky vocal inflections.  Honestly, I never expected him to blow up, I figured he would just remain an underground hero, but I was wrong.  2003 was the summer of Budden, for the most part, as "Pump it Up" was everywhere: radio, MTV, and the shitty movie 2 Fast 2 Furious.  His self-titled Def Jam debut was a modest success, and featured depth he previously showed on mixtape cuts like "Dear Angela".  Budden did not shy from his drug addled past, and his self-proclaimed status as a "regular Joe" was a welcome change.  Well, he was supposed to follow up with a second Def Jam album but that never happened, due to a supposed falling out with then label president Jay-Z.  Budden vanished and was written off....till he got the best of The Game in their battle and released the "Mood Muzik" mixtape series.  He was most recently embroiled in a feud with Raekwon and various members of the Wu over comments about a Vibe Magazine article listing the greatest MC's.  Honestly, Budden has released his best shit since parting ways with Def Jam; my two favorite albums he's dropped are "Padded Room" and "The Escape Route" and he's got another one dropping in early 2010 called "The Great Escape".  When you want raw emotion and introspection paired up with tight punchlines, Joe Budden is the man to see.

JOELL ORTIZ

HOMETOWN:  Brooklyn, NYC
BEST KNOWN FOR:  Joell Ortiz Covers the Classics mixtape, previously signed with Dr. Dre's Aftermath

Ortiz is a rapper's rapper; nothing flashy, nothing fancy, just straight up hip-hop.  Punchlines? Check. A wide arsenal of flows? Check.  He can spit fast like Twista, do the multi-syllables just as good as Eminem (or perhaps Big Pun would be a better comparison), and no matter what, brings the wordplay to the table.  The dude has concepts for days, as evidenced on his Covers the Classics mixtape.  He straight kills it over 30+ classic instrumentals of hip-hop's past.  Take his freestyle over Biggie and Method Man's "The Whut" called "Animal Shit" where every line has an animal reference or metaphor.  He can tell story raps, battle, he's the type of dude standing on the corner with a plastic cup of Bacardi, a Dutch and a notebook full of rhymes.  As far as Latino rappers go, I would say he's the current standard bearer, he truly reminds me of Big Pun and I expect big things from him once the Slaughterhouse movement fully catches it.  Since Slaughterhouse are rumored to be signing to Shady Records, it might be an interesting turn of events seeing as Ortiz was once signed and then let go by Dre.  The future looks really bright for Joell, I got my eye on him.



CROOKED I

HOMETOWN: Long Beach, California
BEST KNOWN FOR:  Long considered the West Coast's lyrical savior, was signed to Death Row Records from 1999-2003; his online Hip-Hop Weekly series; dozens of mixtapes; CEO Dynasty Entertainment

Mixing classic west coast gangsta swagger with east coast lyricism, Crooked is a welcome addition to the Slaughterhouse fold.  This guy has had more stops and starts in his career than most, and has yet to reach an official solo album despite consistently having a record deal of some kind since 1995.  He signed with the controversial Death Row Records in 1999 but we all know how that turned out; various drama and Suge Knight's legal troubles kept his album indefinitely shelved and he split in 2003.  He was been doing his own thing ever since, including forming his own label, Dynasty Entertainment. He built up a buzz for an album in 2005 that never ended up dropping that featured production by Scott Storch (back when that meant something). He received critical accalim for his Block Obama mixtape series last year and plans to release an EP called Mr. Pig Face Weapon Waist in November.  I'm going back and catching up with his Hip-Hop Weekly series, where he released a track a week for one year starting in April '07.  I respect when rappers go that extra mile for their fans, connecting with them, hittin' em off with free tracks to build anticipation.    He got lyrics for days, and hopefully he gets the shine he has worked so hard for.





ROYCE DA 5'9"

HOMETOWN: Detroit, Michigan
BEST KNOWN FOR: His friendship with Eminem and D12 and subsequent beef; ghostwriter for many; dozens of mixtapes

Most rappers would have jumped at the chances to just ride Eminem's coat tails straight to the top but not Royce.  Sure, he popped up on Em's major debut album and his name was buzzing considerably due to being Em's homeboy.  But unlike D12 or Obie Trice, Royce decided to forge it alone, and for better or worse, he ended up with mixed results.
You could describe Royce as similar to Eminem, in he has a knack for wicked wordplay and punchlines and can veer off into crazy territory if need be.  He has long been regarded as one of hip-hop's unsung lyrical heroes.  IMO, his crowning work was his second official album, Death is Certain.  If you haven't heard it, I'd definitely suggest checking it out.  It's full of raw anger and agression, and above all else, quality hip-hop.  Feuds with D12 and interest from people like Diddy and Nas that never materialized would've derailed a lesser MC, but Royce persevered.  He released an awesome series of mixtapes called The Bar Exam in 2007, and by the time he linked up with the rest of Slaughterhouse, he was at the top of his game.  Most people haven't received half the opportunities or scenarios Royce has encountered, and many figured he'd be by the wayside by now.  Finally finding his groove with Slaughterhouse, I think his best work is still in front of him.



Individually, they are four of the elite MC's going right now.  Together, they are Slaughterhouse.  Their debut single "The One" actually received some love from MTV and Eminem is rumored to be interested in signing them to Shady Records.  It goes to show that there is still a viable market out there for classic, real hip-hop, not the ringtone rap dominating the airwaves.  All Slaughterhouse needs is the right ear to listen and push them to the forefront.

The 15 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of the Past 15 Years: #1: The Notorious B.I.G.: "Life After Death"

#1: Notorious B.I.G. "Life After Death" (1997) (Bad Boy)

It all comes down to this.  When piecing together this list, I had alot of stuff to cover, and despite all my bitching about the current state of rap music, I came to find that, in the past 15 years, there really has been alot of good shit.  Some stuff didn't make the list, unfortunately: shoutout to groups like UGK, The Lox and Wu-Tang Clan, and artists like Snoop, Jadakiss, Fabolous and Scarface who for one reason or another, I was unable to include on this list.  Breaking shit down to 15 albums is not an easy task, but hopefully those who read this were enlightened and informed and perhaps discovered some shit you might not have taken the time to check out.  Without further ado, here's my thoughts on "Life After Death"....

I said I was only gonna include one album per artist, and so it was a real toss up for me whether I was going to include Biggie's "Life After Death" or "Ready to Die".  "Ready to Die" was a timeless piece of hardcore hip-hop.  It had a range of subject matter and emotions that put you in the shoes of a hustler with nothing to lose.  Thoughts on suicide, sticking up pregnant women, slinging crack and hopes for a better day, it embodied what it was like to be young, hungry and down for whatever.  The album stood the test of time, spawned tons of hits ("Warning", "Juicy", "Big Poppa", "One More Chance", etc) and solidified BIG's spot in the game.  However, I think it was second and final official album that cemented his status as the greatest to do it, and here's why.

First things first, this was a double album that from start to finish was excellent.  It was not the first, and unfortunately not the last, double album in hip-hop.  But before everyone and their brother decided to give it a shot, BIG was the second one after Pac's "All Eyez on Me".  While I enjoyed "All Eyez on Me", there was no question there were some tracks that could have been left off.  This was not the case with "LAD".  Each disc had it's distinct vibe and theme to it, and flowed from beginning to end like water.

Disc one opens up with the cinematic "Somebody's Got To Die" and goes into the club rocking "Hypnotize", a song that to this day, will still set a dancefloor on fire.  The next track, "Kick in the Door", featuring a gritty beat courtest of DJ Premier, has really taken on new light in hindsight.  The track was actually a dis to Raekwon and Nas, among others, for their accusations of him biting their style.  It was a defiant return shot, and even though Biggie didn't name names, it got it's point across.  Lyrically and flow wise, you don't get much better, take a listen (skip the first minute):

This album is just an exercise in diversity, top-notch flows and vivid lyricism.  Right after the brutal "Kick in the Door" comes to smoothed out slow jam "Fuckin' You Tonight" featuring R Kelly.  Big kicks humorous lyrics about skipping the wining and dining and just gettin' down to business.  I'm sure we all been there.  This song is also significant, in my opinion, as it kinda opened the floodgates for rappers collaborating with R&B singers for crossover appeal.  It had been done before, songs like Method Man and Mary J Blige "All I Need", shit like that, but after this album, it's like everyone tried to run with the formula.

Immediately following that is the showcase for then up-and-coming group The Lox.  Over a haunting beat, they all kick mafioso flows, and every rapper does their best to outshine the other.  It even features Jada's famous "For instance/I'll give this faggot a French kiss" line that still has fans scratching their heads to this day.  Next up is, to me, one of the ultimate songs, Jay-Z and Biggie "I Love the Dough".  Between the beat and the two best emcees one-upping eachother with tales of lavish spending and living in the lap of luxury, this was just awesome.  Much better than "Money Ain't a Thang", Jay-Z's collabo with JD.  Biggie just murks it with his verses, and Jay has some cool lines about "playin' Monopoly with real cash".  This song is ahead of it's time, it sounds like it coulda been recorded yesterday, but it's almost 13 years old!  Check it (35 seconds in):



After this is "What's Beef?" an eerie and ominous message that Biggie was above all the petty shit being thrown his way and detailing exactly what beef REALLY is.  Some of Big's best lyrical work on that track.  The next song needs no introduction, "Mo Money Mo Problems".  The Diana Ross sample, the shiny suits, throwin your Roly in sky...when you look back on this era of hip-hop, THIS is the song that defines it.  The disc raps up with "Niggas Bleed" (another cinematic story rap that sounds like a script to a Scorcese flick) and "I Got a Story to Tell", a story about a lover's tryst gone wrong.  Now need I remind you, this is only the FIRST DISC.  If I were to break it down, I'd say the first disc was a more celebratory affair, tracks featuring Biggie living it up, enjoying his new success, and brushing off haters.  If disc one was the calm, then disc two is definitely the storm, as it has a darker and grittier vibe more akin to "Ready to Die".

I think BIG was just out to prove he could do anything and everything better than everyone on this album.  Take the first song off disc two, the legendary "Notorious Thugs" featuring Bone.  Bone was basically a one trick pony, IMO.  All they were good far were rapid fire raps and harmonizing vocals, and offered little else. To each his own, I suppose.  Biggie stepped out to the plate and murdered them at their own game.  But don't take my word for it:



This is followed by "Another" featuring Lil Kim, a good track but probably the weakest on the album comparatively.   Biggie then flips a West Coast inspired flow on the gem "Goin' Back to Cali", featuring a synth-heavy G-funk beat.  Literally, BIG was proving to everyone he could do it all, and pulling it off in spades.  Every track on this album has a seperate, distinct feel, yet all goes together.  It was an amazing job on the production end to piece this masterpiece together, and Biggie was just at the top of his game.

I could just go on and on:  the pimped out, blaxploitation of "The World is Filled", the somber and reflective "Miss U" and "Sky's the Limit", the venomous "Long Kiss Goodnight" and the forboding "My Downfall" and "You're Nobody (Till Somebody Kills You)".  This is a the shining example of a PERFECT album.  This also laid the foundation for Puffy to rise up with "No Way Out" and it was a good indicator for the what the classic Bad Boy sound was going to be.  It takes an MC of a certain caliber to shoulder the load of a double album, and in my eyes, Biggie was the only one to pull it off without a flaw.  "Life After Death" sold over ten million copies, one of only three rap albums ever to do so, so I don't need to tell you to buy it.  But if you haven't listened to it in awhile, dust it off and experience it again.  Nearly thirteen years later, it still sounds as fresh and innovative as it was then. And that, my friends, is the definition of the best hip-hop album of not only the past 15 years, but of ALL-TIME.

F**K Lil Wayne: An Essay

Dear Lil Wayne Fans,

That's it.  I've had it.  I've absolutely had it.  As a lifelong fan of hip-hop, I just can't stands anymore.  The man pictured above is the one all the MTV generation babies have labeled the "best rapper alive".  Actually this piece of human excrement labeled himself that, and you numbskull sheep bought it hook line and sinker.  It appalls me to no end to go about my daily business, and hear young children quoting his songs.  It pains me to no end to see magazines sing his praises, while stellar emcees with better pedigrees and LEGIT credibility sell less and get less respect.  Now I understand this is the music "business", and unlike the old days, skill doesn't pay the bills anymore.  Now it's all about writing catchy nonsense and making it sound cool in a ringtone. 

Let's look at the facts:  1) Lil Wayne has ghostwriters.  Diehard Wayne fans may not want to believe it, but it's true.  Why you think he even has that cornball Drake around?  Remember Gillie da Kid? No, of course you don't, because you didn't follow Cash Money back in the day, or know anything about real hip-hop.  Gillie da Kid is one the rawest spitters to come out of Philly, who was part of the Major Figgas crew and eventually linked up with Cash Money.  It was DIRECTLY AFTER his signing that Wayne's lyrics went from sub-par average Southern rapper to Jay-Z clone to the mush mouthed mess it is today.  Coincidence? NO.  Baby brought Gillie in to write Wayne's raps, and then they kicked Gillie to the curb.  You can tell similarities in the flows and verse structure that Gillie wrote for Wayne during this period, which began roughly around 2002, 2003 to when the first "Carter" album came out.  So best rapper alive??? Not when you have ghostwriters.

2) He's false claiming.  Remember back in the early days, when Cash Money first came on the scene, 1997, 1998 or so?  They wore camouflage, blue, black and occasionally red bandannas.  There was no gang talk, nothing.  Just Cash Money Millionaires, maybe referencing a soulja rag here and there, ya know, ignorant Southern shit.  All of a sudden, back in 2001, Mack 10 signs with Cash Money.  Mack 10, for those who don't know, is an official, real Blood from California.  Take a look at the video for the song "Do the Damn Thang".  All of a sudden, Wayne and Baby are Bloods.  I can't embed the video but here's a link:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN-ZQRUSNmk   The trend has continued to this day. 

3) He stole his entire style from Clipse.  Pusha T and Malice of Clipse smashed the scene wide open in 2002 with their debut album Lord Willin'.  It was all about coke selling, that hustler vibe, and they brought a whole new fashion to the game rockin' BAPE and things of that nature.  Now at the time, Wayne was still rocking wife beaters and camo bandannas. Now Clipse was rocking this: 

While Wayne was looking like this:

 

Then all of a sudden, after Clipse blew up and took a hiatus, he returns looking like this: 
And all he can suddenly seem to talk about is slanging coke. Coincidence, I think not.  I wish I could find better pictures to illustrate my point, but I didn't care to look.  The fact is the proof is in the songs and the timelines...if you a true fan, you'll know.  To make matters worse, he rips off Pusha's signature "Yuuuccchhh" sound effect on the Juelz Santana song "Make it Work 4 Ya".  Have you no shame, Wayne?  You used to be a Hot Boy, dropping it like it's hot.  Then when you start to fall off, you totally rip off Jay-Z and the two hottest in the game at the time, Pusha and Malice, and fool the public into thinking you're some creative genius.

4) That drunk frat dude who always freestyles at keg parties? That's all Wayne is.  People gave him credit for his nonsense bullshit...but all he's doing is getting wasted and babbling into a microphone.  Mic-ill would kill Weezy.  Thats a fact.  Too bad Mic-ill is long retired.

Lil Wayne is a cornball fool.  But he has successfully fooled America into believing he's the illest.  And it sucks.  Rappers like Wale, Chamillionaire, Clipse, Cam'ron, Joe Budden and Joell Ortiz go unnoticed in the underground and this clown is who everyone thinks is the best?  Fuck you.  Music has gone into the shitter, and Lil Wayne is just one of the reasons why.  But all my real hip-hop heads already knew that.

The 15 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of the Past 15 Years: #2: Raekwon: "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx"

#2: Raekwon: "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx" (1995) (Loud/RCA)

The Wu-Tang Clan was at one time, the most dominant, unstoppable force in hip-hop.  From their 1993 debut "Enter the Wu-Tang" up until about 1997's "Wu-Tang Forever", all the material they released either as a group or individually, was a success both critically and commercially.    After that, releases were hit or miss, spawning a few hit singles and solid albums here and there but not living up to their previous works.  The biggest victim of this was Raekwon, who set the bar so high with today's album, his subsequent works faltered.  "Immobilarity" and "The Lex Diamond Story" paled in comparison to "OB4CL" and left fans frustrated and wanting more of that classic vibe.  Well, 15 years after the original, Rae finally delivered with this year's "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 2", possibly the year's best album.  But let's take a trip back to '95, as I profile one of the greatest hip-hop albums ever recorded and it's massive, massive impact on the hip-hop industry.

Kool G Rap can be considered the godfather of "mafioso" rap, a style he made popular on albums like "Road to the Riches".  He rhymed about selling cocaine, driving fancy cars, wearing diamonds and flashy clothes, living the lifestyle of a mobster basically.  Picture "The Godfather" or "Goodfellas" twisted into a hip-hop song and there you go.  Hip-hop fans revered him, but his mainstream success with the style was quite minimal.  When Raekwon came on the scene with "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx", it shattered everything that rap was at the time.

Enlisting Ghostface Killah as his co-star, Rae created a cohesive concept album about the rise of his character Lex Diamonds and Ghost's Tony Starks.  With production exclusively by The RZA, the album flowed seamlessly from the intro to the ending.  This album was indeed RZA's best work, hands down.  That is saying something considering the prolific and fruitful career he has had.  Featuring beats heavy on strings and piano, it felt like you were in the middle of a gangster flick as Rae and Ghost expertly weaved tales of cocaine, robberies, glamorous living and the like with vivid imagery and pinache.

This album set the stage for many to follow.  Take a look at some of the albums directly influenced by this master work:  Nas' "It Was Written", which was a complete 180 from "illmatic"; Jay-Z's "Reasonable Doubt"; Notorious BIG's "Life After Death", which showed Biggie graduating for a street-corner hustler to the kingpin, Frank White; "The Firm" self-titled album and AZ's "Doe or Die" which basically should send Rae royalty checks.  Raekwon pioneered the whole style and imagery that these great rappers took and ran with.  Nobody was rapping about Cristal or being a kingpin or selling mass amounts of cocaine before Raekwon did it.  Now, and even then, everyone wanted to rep that image and be a boss.  From these early stages to now, you can still see the blueprints that Rae laid out, and that in itself is amazing.

This album also marked the high point of Wu-Tang's distinctive slang.  Mixing terms from 5 Percent teachings and Supreme Alphabet and Mathematics with everyday street lingo, Rae spoke in a language almost all his own that listeners would need a keen ear to decipher.  The wordplay and lyricism was impeccable and once again, it was unlike ANYTHING else at the time.  Pure, uncut originality.  Each member of the Wu that was featured on the album also took on nicknames, nicknames that would stick for the remainder of their careers, for instance: Method Man was "Johnny Blaze", U-God "Golden Arms", Cappadonna "Cappachino" and the aformentioned "Lex Diamonds" for Raekwon and "Tony Starks" for Ghostface.  Nas even was given his famous moniker of "Nas Escobar" on this album.  After this album, everyone had a nickname.  Biggie was "Frank White", AZ became "AZ Sosa", 2Pac was "Makaveli" and the Outlaws also copped the style.  Everyone wanted to be a mobster after this album came out.  And everyone needs to know who originated it:  Raekwon.

 Now onto the meat and potatoes of the record: the actual songs.  The album hits the ground running from the intro and never stops.  "Knuckleheadz" featuring U-God sets the stage with it's pounding drums and bass and wicked piano loop.  Raekwon delivers a lyrical knockout punch with "Incarcerated Scarfaces", one of my favorite tracks on the album and one of RZA's best beats.  One of the most haunting and cinematic songs of all time follows in the form of "Rainy Dayz".  Words do not do this song justice, how epic it is.  A solemn string heavy beat, complimented with vocals by Blue Raspberry sets the tone and Rae and Ghost absolutely kill it with the words.  Here, listen for yourself:

Mindblowing.  That's not even the tip of the iceberg.  The hard-hitting "Criminology", the crossover appeal of "Ice Cream" and the emotional "Heaven and Hell" are all standout tracks.  You also have what is considered one of the best lyrical showcases of all time on the Nas features "Verbal Intercourse".  This song was the birthplace of the "Nas Escobar" persona, so pay attention.  But as they say on Reading Rainbow, don't take my word for it, check it out:



This album also featured the classic "Shark N***as" skit, which put imitators, or "biters" on blast.  This skit reverberated through the industry, since many realized Raekwon was targeting Biggie with this skit for his belief that he was imitating Nas.  It caused much controversy but also made "biting" one of the biggest no-no's in hip-hop from that point forward. The skits and spoken word portions of this album are just as influential as the music itself was.  Peep the song "Glaciers of Ice" where at the beginning Ghost discusses his crazy vision of custom Wallabee shoes (which also exploded in popularity thanks to Rae and Ghost):



I could go on all day about how awesome and influential this album was and is, but you get the point.  Raekwon changed the game with this release, and have everyone following his lead.  Landmark releases from the best rappers of all time would not have happened if Rae didn't do it first, take the risk and be successful.  I really wanted to rank this album #1, as there is not a single flaw to be had and it's influence is just ridiculous.  No other album has affected the world of hip-hop quite like this one did.  However, tomorrow you will get a full explaination of why the actual #1 is the best hip-hop album of the past 15 years.

Do yourself a favor and go buy, download or steal Raekwon's "Only Builty 4 Cuban Linx" if you don't already have it.  It is the ultimate.  The end.

ACCOLADES: 4.5 mics from The Source; 5 stars from Rolling Stone; 5 stars from allmusic.com; #1 Hip-Hop Album from 95-2005 by Hip-Hop Connection; one of Rolling Stone's Essential Recordings of the '90's

KEY TRACKS: all

The 15 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of the Past 15 Years: #3: Nas: "Illmatic"

#3: Nas: "Illmatic" (1994) (Columbia)

The 1990's began with the West Coast dominating the hip-hop scene.  NWA set the tone which lead to the breakout of Ice Cube and Eazy-E, and most importantly Dr. Dre.  1992's "The Chronic" and 1993's "Doggystyle" from Snoop Doggy Dogg were the soundtracks of every hip-hop head from coast to coast.  Someone, anyone, from the streets of New York had to rise up and bring back to crown to birthplace of hip-hop.  The Wu-Tang Clan began to make noise in '93 as well, but even their impressive debut would be overshadowed. Word spread of a young lyrical prodigy, who in 1991 destroyed Main Source's "Live at the BBQ" with this opening salvo:

"Street's disciple, my raps are trifle
I shoot slugs from my brain just like a rifle
Stampede the stage, I leave the microphone split
Play Mr. Tuffy while I'm on some Pretty Tone shit
Verbal assassin, my architect pleases
When I was twelve, I went to hell for snuffin Jesus
Nasty Nas is a rebel to America
Police murderer, I'm causin hysteria......."

His rep continued to grow and he bubbled on the underground radar until final, in April of 1994, Nas emerged and claimed his spot as the elite rapper in the game.  "Illmatic" is the hip-hop equivalent of the Mona Lisa or Sistine Chapel: absolutely perfect in every sense imaginable.  At ten tracks and only 40 minutes of running time, it's straight up, no chaser, New York hip-hop.  When it comes to capturing that vibe of New York City, shooting dice, playing basketball in the park, seeing people hustle on the corner, the aura of it all, no other album compares to "Illmatic".  You feel like you are smack dab in the middle of Queensbridge Housing Project, sitting next to Nas on a park bench as he describes the scene.  It is a perfect marriage of beats and rhymes that combines for an amazing aural experience.

The album opens with "The Genesis", an intro of sorts that sets the stage.  According to egotrip, I learned something I never quite noticed:  the track features Nas' debut verse in the background; a clip from the movie "Wild Style", which is considered the birth of hip-hop; and the sound of a subway train, which symbolizes New York, the birthplace of Nas as a person.  Hence, all three formed Nas, all three represent the Genesis.  When put into that perspective, the creativity is taken to another level.

Another milestone: there was only one feature on this album, AZ on the smooth-as-hell "Life's a Bitch".  One of the greatest rap songs EVER recorded, AZ stepped up to the plate and built a successful career off of ONE VERSE.  Here, listen for yourself:



My favorite track on the album is one of Nas' lyrical best, the reflective "Memory Lane (Sittin' in da Park)".  The vibe you get from this track, it's just impossible to describe.  Makes you feel like you are hanging out at a cookout, the afternoon fades to night, kicking it with your friends, having fun, thinking of the good old day.  It's rare an emcee can stir those kind of emotions in a listener, that you visualize things like that.  Here, for your listening pleasure:



The beats were provided by the best of the best in NY hip-hop at the time: DJ Premier, LES, Pete Rock and Large Professor.  In 1994, rapper's would kill for that line-up.  But Nas had the skill and rep to have these guys clamoring to work with him, and he more than rose to the occasion.  There are so many quotable lyrics on this album it's not even funny.  Nas brought back that slick flow popularized by Rakim and Kool G Rap and raised the bar for NY hip-hop.  Before he bumrushed the scene, most rappers were content emulating Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul.  Nas brought that rugged edge back to the forefront.  Here's another example, "One Love":



This album also sparked controversy by Raekwon and Ghostface famously accusing Biggie of biting Nas' style.  Take example the cover of "Ready to Die" featuring a picture of an infant, released just months after Nas' iconic "Illmatic" album cover featuring him as a child superimposed over the NY streets.  People also said BIG emulated Nas lyrical content and style of production, but, to me, that's ridiculous.  Both were legends in their own right and should be heralded as such.

Nas has had one of the most inconsistent careers in hip-hop.  He followed "Illmatic" with the stellar "It Was Written" but then fell off for awhile before rebounding with "STILLmatic" in 2001.  His track record has been superb since, but he has failed to match the intellect, knowledge, wit and intensity of his debut.  "Illmatic" will forever be hailed as a masterpiece and belongs in any hip-hop head's album collection.


ACCOLADES: Certified platinum; 5 Mics in The Source; #400 on Rolling Stone Greatest Albums of All-Time; #1 Hip-Hop Album of All-Time by about.com and egotrip; #2 Hip-Hop Album of All-Time by MTV;  XXL rating from XXL Magazine; 5 Stars from Rolling Stone

KEY TRACKS: all

The 15 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of the Past 15 Years: #4: Jay-Z: "The Blueprint"

#4: Jay-Z: "The Blueprint" (2001) (Roc-a-Fella/Def Jam)

If we were ranking the best rap albums of the decade, this would be #1.  I guess that gives some hints as to what the top 3 are, but in the past 10 years, no album had a bigger impact on the hip-hop landscape than this album.  Now as a huge Jay-Z fan, let me offer some explaination:  people may decry why I did not include "Reasonable Doubt" to represent Jay-Z on this list.  Well, not only did I feel that would be an obvious choice, and it is my favorite Jay-Z album, the beautiful thing about Hova is that you can choose any one of his albums (well maybe not "Lifetime Vol 1" or "Kingdom Come") to represent him and you would be holding a classic.  Also, I am basing the choices on more than just quality, but also impact on the game.  "Reasonable Doubt" is a masterpiece, but it did not have the effect on the game initially that "The Blueprint" did.  It took people a little while to warm up to "Reasonable Doubt", most people found it after the fact.  Jay didn't really impact the mainstream hard until 1998's "Hard Knock Life...Vol 2", so it's for those reasons I have chosen to highlight this album over "Reasonable Doubt".

But what about "The Black Album"?  Well, another classic, indeed.  It was supposed to be Jay's swan song, and for a little while, it was.  But if hip-hop and pro wrestling have taught us anything, people rarely stay retired for long.  While it was a flawless album and seamless from front to back, I think it would hold more of a distinction if it truly was Jay-Z's last work, as it showed a man going out at the top of his game.  After the stumble of "Kingdom Come" and the rebound on "American Gangster" and "Blueprint 3", Hov's position as the best to ever do it is all about solidified. 

So...why "The Blueprint"?  I'll tell you why.  I think this was not only Jay's most influential album, but also probably his most difficult to make.  At the time, the rap landscape was like a warzone.  Everyone was beefing with one another, and Jay was hot target.  He was knee deep in feuds with Nas, Mobb Deep and Jadakiss (which eventually splintered to Jada vs Beanie Siegel).  He was also facing criminal charges for gun posession and assault.  So like 'Pac with "Me Against the World", what does Hova do?  Make the best fuckin' album he ever made.

This album just assaulted your senses from the opening track.  At the time, rappers were using beats from the Neptunes and Timbaland for the most part, or copycats there of.  Keyboards, synthesized beats, that was the rule of the day. "The Blueprint" shocked people by sounding nothing like anything else.  Rich soul samples, Alvin and the Chipmunks style vocal samples, crisp percussion. It brought hip-hop back to the essence.  You could say Jay laid the foundation with some of the production used on the "Dynasty: Roc-La-Familia" album, but this album took it to the next level.  "The Blueprint" made household names out of Just Blaze and some dude named Kanye West, maybe you've heard of him. It also had everyone and their mother trying to cop the "Blueprint" style of production: Cam'ron and the Diplomats most notably, but all of a sudden, every album that came out had a sped-up soul sample.  Jay changed the game, plain and simple.



Jay was also at the top of his game lyrically.  From the opener "The Ruler's Back", he flips nimble and original flows, dropping metaphors and using crazy wordplay.  Following that is probably the best dis track ever, "The Takeover".  Now, people can debate all day who did better, Jay or Nas with his response, "Ether".  But what you cannot deny is the feeling you caught the first time you heard "Takeover".  The beat: SICK.  Flipping The Doors "5 to 1", Kanye gave Hova the perfect soundscape to lay waste to Nas and basically ended the career of Mobb Deep, who never really recovered back to their previous stature.  



There were also emotional joints like "Song Cry", "Momma Loves Me" and "Never Change".  You even had the infamous face-off between Jay and Eminem on "Renegades", which Nas made light of ("Eminem murdered you on your own shit").  True or false? You decide.  This album was just absolutely perfect and had everything a hip-hop fan could want.  From dropping the same day the Twin Towers did, to changing the way rap music sounded to negatively affecting the careers of any rapper who dared to oppose him, Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" will stand the test of time as a high point for not just Jay-Z or hip-hop music, but the music world as a whole.

ACCOLADES: Certified double platinum; "XXL" rating from XXL Magazine and 5 Mics from The Source; #5 on Rolling Stone's Top 10 of 2001; #2 of best albums from 2000-2004, ranked by Pitchfork Media

KEY TRACKS: all

Cine-Whack: The Worst of the Worst in Film: "The Slime People" (1963)

In the 1960's, what was the biggest problem facing America?  Civil rights issues? Communism? If you said slime people, then my friend, you win a cookie.

This movie is absolute horseshit, not even entertaining on a comedic level.  It stars Robert Hutton as Tom Gregory, a news reporter who lands in Los Angeles and finds it to be abandoned.  He meets up with a wacky scientist and his two babelicious daughters.  The scientist (played by Robert Gailbreath) explains the town has been overrun with slime people who have built a dome of fog around the city.  The US Army has not been able to break through but somehow, Tom managed to fly his plane in (more on that later).

They seek refuge in a nearby television studio where the meet up with Marine and all around terrible actor Calvin Johnson (played with absolutely no charisma by William Boyce).  He drops such insightful gems as this one, when quizzed by the scientist about what he saw when the wall of fog was first formed:

Calvin: "One minute it was just a fog...then it got thick, and hard." 
Scientist: "Well did you touch it? Was it hot, or cold or rough or smooth or what?"
Calvin: "I didn't get close enough."
 Yes, I giggled at the sexual overtones of that exchange, which I'm guessing were unintentional.

They try to shoehorn in some shitty romantic subplots with Calvin and Betty, the scientist's daughter, and Tom and Lisa, the other daughter.  Zero chemistry in each case and both are pretty inconsequential to the plot.  So the characters evade the slime people long enough until coming across NORMAN TOLLIVER, a crazy author who coincidentally knows Tom and has an affinity for goats...kinda creepy.  He is by far the coolest character in the movie, so of course he is killed off about ten minutes later.

Long story short, the scientist discovers that TABLE SALT can penetrate the fog wall, because there was salt on Tom's plane that sprayed up from the ocean and thats how the plane managed to penetrate the fog.  Yeah, lame as fuck, as I know.  They end up penetrating the wall, the slime people die from exposure to hotter air temperatures and that's it.

A boring, drawn out movie that felt like a marathon even though it was 76 minutes long.  The monsters looked like the Creature from the Black Lagoon and the Putty Patrol from "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
covered in human excrement and seaweed. They carried spears, were slow-moving and generally useless.   The sounds they made sounded like a mixture of wet farts and some gurgling mouthwash.  I know, it was the 1960's, but this is just all kinds of bad.  In addition to the monsters, on the villain side of things there were a couple of maniac drunk looters who showed up inexplicably, but the less said about them the better.

I, however, would have liked to have seen more from Calvin Johnson.  He's a Marine, you know.  The movie makes sure to say so over 100 times.  The most useless Marine ever though, as he contributes next to nothing to the escape effort and runs from looters despite being equipped with an assault rifle of some kind.  Norman Tolliver, the whacky goat fucker, showed more balls than this supposed Marine.

I would avoid this one like the plague, as like I said, it's just boring as hell, and the dialogue is not even bad enough to be funny.  Stinkers like this are what makes me optimistic that the forthcoming screenplay I am working on with my friend Gavin will get greenlit. 

Take a peek at the trailer for "The Slime People":



AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

The 15 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of the Past 15 Years: #5: 2Pac: "Me Against the World"

#5:  2Pac:  "Me Against the World" (1995) (Interscope/Atlantic)

Hailed by many as the greatest rapper of all-time (not by me though, haha), "Me Against the World" was, in my opinion, 2Pac's finest hour.  "All Eyez On Me" was remarkably solid for it's double-disc length, but definitely had some filler mixed in.  "Makaveli" was a portrait of a man at his most paranoid and violent, and while it, too, is a classic in it's own right, it lacked the depth of emotions found on "Me Against the World".

According to Wikipedia, this album was recorded in a two week time span right before Pac had to go to prison for the sexual assault case.  The article claims this is the reason why the album is Pac's most soul-baring, confessional work.  I can totally dig that, and you definitely can feel the different messages he was trying to get across.  Another feat this album accomplished was it was the first album by an incarcerated rapper to debut atop the Billboard charts.

Now, onto the meat and potatoes.  This album features, in my opinion, one of, if not the most, heartfelt songs in hip-hop history, "Dear Mama".  Before it was cool and everyone started doing it, Pac penned this heartstring-tugging ode to his mother.  Growing up was not all peaches and cream with a single mother who also had drug issues, but Pac shows his gratitude and love and the song and video remain touching to this day, perhaps even moreso.

My favorite Pac song of all time "So Many Tearz" is also featured on this album.  The bass line is undeniable and the catchy little horn in the beat makes this a perfect lay back and kick it type of joint.  The subject matter has real substance and Pac, while maybe not the most skilled verbal gymnast or metaphor heavy dude, always gave it to you real and straight up.  You never came away from a Pac song feeling nothing, he always managed touch an emotion inside you of some kind.

The rest of the songs all had a distinct and cohesive feel to them, making this Pac's most even work, IMO.  On other albums he would follow tales of violence and misogyny with stuff like "Keep Ya Head Up" or "Brenda's Got a Baby".  While hypocrisy and contradictions are the norm in hip-hop, this album Pac kept with a theme and stuck with it:  a man on the verge of uncertainty, who was disenfranchised with the system and the ways of the world, wondering if perhaps it would be easier being dead.

The overall vibe and production was just mellowed and smoothed out, making for a very easy listen.  "It Ain't Easy" and "Can U Get Away", for instance, are a couple other favorite joints of mine, and embody that feeling perfectly.  Other standout tracks are "Death Around The Corner" and the title track.  Honestly though, you can't go wrong just throwing this album on from start to finish and just vibing.  You don't get this kind of brutal honesty and emotion in hip-hop day.  Instead, you get cornballs like Drake who pander to the females and the TRL teenyboppers.  There's no heart, and no soul, left in the hip-hop world.  "Me Against the World" was a masterpiece from a man who literally was what the title implied, and the emotion just bled right through the speakers.  If you are only a fan of 'Pac's more ignorant and thuggish work, you owe it yourself to really soak in and enjoy this album.

ACCOLADES: 10/10, Rapreviews.com;  4/5 mics, The Source; certified Platinum; nominated for Best Rap Album, 1996 Grammy Awards; ranked in The Source 100 Best Hip-Hop Albums of All-Time

KEY TRACKS: all

"Where the Wild Things Are" Movie Review

As a child, I'm sure everyone at one time or another came across the book "Where the Wild Things Are".  I know some people who cherished it and it played a big part of their childhoods.  I am not gonna lie and say I was one of those people, but I do recall enjoying it and the characters were iconic enough to be remembered long after the last time I read it.  When I initially saw previews for the feature film, the tone of the trailer seemed a little off center, certainly intriguing.  It certainly did not have the look of a kid's film and I wasn't quite sure what they were aiming for.  After the opening weekend reviews were overwhelmingly positive, I decided to go ahead and check it out.  Boy am I glad I did.

The story centers around Max, an imaginative young boy who had to keep himself entertained for the most part.  His sister is grown and more interested in boys, his parents are divorced and his mother works long hours.  Because of this, Max spends most of the time in his own imaginary worlds and acts out for attention.  After one particularly bad and violent outburst due to his mom paying more attention to her boyfriend, Max runs away from home and ends up in the land of the Wild Things.

The Wild Things are a sad, rowdy and directionless bunch who are in desperate need of guidance or entertainment.  Max joins in their ruckus and after almost being eaten, he convinces them that he is an all-mighty king and that he is there to lead them.  The main bond he forms is with Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini).  He is somewhat the big baby of the group, let's his emotions get the best of him and is in most need of a leader; he puts all his faith in Max to make the Wild Things happy and becomes devastated when things don't go his way.  Catherine O'Hara does a good job as the voice of Judith, the stick-in-the-mud Wild Thing who always questions Max's decisions and motive.  I also enjoyed Paul Dano, who played Alexander, the meek and overlooked goat Wild Thing. 

Max and the gang embark on many fun and exciting adventures, but in the end, things don't turn out as perfect as everyone hoped or thought they seemed.  Max learns a valuable lesson, and so do the viewers, and the sequence of Max leaving the island was exceptionally powerful and really hits close to home.  It was the sense of growing up, and learning the importance of the ones you love, that everyone realizes at some point in their youth.

The story and the way the film is presented is top notch.  It is told from Max's perspective, so there's alot of jump editing, loud noises and silly dialogue.  But it's genius, because that's the purpose of the story: to remember what it is like to be a child and see through the eyes of a child.  The Wild Things, from my understanding, seem to all embody a different emotion of Max.  Since they are products of his imagination, the speak like he does, and in certain situations, their actions and emotions mirror that of Max's.  It's really cool storytelling, and I feel director/writer Spike Jonze pulled it off in spades.

I left this film with the feeling of longing for a simpler time.  Being a kid, making up fantasy worlds to escape your problems, just that feeling of no responsibility and no cares, just having fun.  This movie is an embodiment of that, and it will make you smile and possibly even cry.  No, I personally did not cry, but definitely felt tinges of sadness at times.  It's a movie that works on every level, and is a must-see for anyone who is curious about it.  I would say it's probably a little too deep for kids, but if they don't frighten easily they might enjoy it anyway.  Anyway, an awesome film that hearkens back to the magical films of my youth like "The Neverending Story" and "Labyrinth".  That same magical vibe you get from those movies, you get it here.  So refreshing after being force-fed so much bullshit at the theater this year.  GO SEE IT NOW.

RATING: 4 OUT OF 4 STARS

The 15 Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of the Past 15 Years: #6: Outkast: "Aquemini"

#6: Outkast: "Aquemini" (1998) (LaFace/Arista)

It was a difficult decision as to what Outkast album I should include on this list, as it is arguable that all of their albums are considered classic in their own right.  "Speakerboxx/The Love Below" was an ambitious double album that showcased Andre's diverse style and influences, but as a whole, I feel "The Love Below" overshadowed Big Boi's still exceptional "Speakerboxx" contribution.  For that reason I chose not to review that album.  "Stankonia" was also pretty hot, with "Mrs. Jackson" and "B.O.B." to speak for it.  People hail their first two albums, "Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik" and "ATLiens" as landmark achievements as well, but for my money, I think "Aquemini" showed the duo at their cohesive and artistic best.

The first thing to be said is the lyricism that is on display.  Andre 3000 is heralded my his peers as one of the best MC's doing it, and is often overlooked by mainstream fans on their top 5 dead or alive lists.  Truth be told, he deserves more props and he and Big Boi put on lyrical clinics on this album.  Their quick witted and nimble tongued flows matched up with the funky and soulful production made this album really stand out from everything else at the time it was released.

I mean, take for instance the big radio hit off the album, "Rosa Parks".  The stomping and clapping, harmonica solo, it was crazy to hear in contrast to the Puff Daddy's, DMX's and the like on the radio and MTV at the time.  Big Boi and especially Andre was portrayed a crazy style and way of dress that had people talking and helped them stand apart from the pack.

My personal favorite track on the album is the collabo with Raekwon, "Skew it on the Bar-B".  The beat was absolutely sick, and as a diehard Wu-Tang fan and uninitiated at the time to Outkast, I was impressed to see Big Boi and Dre hold their own with the Chef in an absolutely killer cipher that still gets play from me to this day.  The awesome attention to detail and descriptive narratives of "Da Art of Storytellin'" hooked me, and there was no denying the smoothed out vibes of "SpottieOttieDopaliscious".  I'm not a weed smoker but if I was, that track would definitely be a perfect soundtrack to a smoke session. 

This album, along with Goodie Mob's "Soul Food", really solidified and crafted that signature Atlanta sound that would remain prevalent until Young Jeezy, TI and the likes took over with their brand of dope boy rapping.  "Aquemini" received tons of accolades: it was certified double platinum, ranked #500 on the list of the 500 Best Albums of All-Time, and received 5 mics from The Source, which at the time, was a legitimate honor.  You can't go wrong with any of Outkast's works but for someone looking for a place to start, I would say you can't do much better than "Aquemini". 

BEST VERSES: Andre 3000 on "Return of the G", "Rosa Parks" and "Skew it on the Bar-B"

Big Boi on "Da Art of Storytellin" and "Y'all Scared"