Hip-Hop 101: The History of Children of the Corn

"Harlem on the rise...and you don't want no problem with us guys"....

Harlem, New York.  A small section Manhattan that has a rich history of art, creativity and culture.  Starting in the 1920's with poets like Langston Hughes and jazz performers like Duke Ellington and Billie Holiday at the legendary Cotton Club, Harlem has always had a vibe and swag all it's own.  In the early/mid 1990's, a collective of Harlem MC's came together to create history that wouldn't fully be realized until nearly ten years later.  Aside from the Wu-Tang Clan, never before had such a high caliber crew been assembled.  Sadly, murder, car accidents, religious events and financial woes broke the crew down before they could ever reach their greatness as a collective.  Seperately, each member achieved varying degrees of success, but today we can only wonder what might of been for the super-group that almost was, The Children of the Corn.

Children of the Corn was formed in 1994, with the founding member/leader being Big L (Lamont Coleman).  Coleman was a fixture in NYC ciphers and already a hood legend.  His slick wordplay and punchlines coupled with a varying flow made him a hot unsigned prospect in the rap game.  Coleman tapped his neighborhood friends Cameron Giles (Cam'ron) and Mason Betha (Murda Ma$e) to join the group, along with Cam's cousin Derek Armstead (Bloodshed).  Cam and Mase had been buddies since their younger days and were both aspiring basketball stars as well as accomplished wordsmiths.  The final piece of the puzzle was the hungry, verbally agressive Herb McGruff.  Together, they became a force to be reckoned with on the Harlem streets.  They got to work laying down tracks, piecing together over thirty tracks.  Their dirty, grimy sound was provided with beats by Digga aka "Six Figga" who also became a slight household name in the rap industry.  Their eerie, dusty production and horrocore lyrics evoked comparisons to the Wu-Tang Clan but with their own Harlem swagger and subject matter that included brutal homicides, drug dealing, rape and blasphemous content.  For an example, check out "Harlem USA", performed by Bloodshed and Killa Cam:



Enlisting a young Damon Dash as their manager, the sky seemed to be the limit for COC.  Big L eventually inked a major label solo deal with Columbia and released his critically acclaimed debut album, "Lifestyles ov da Poor and Dangerous".  The album was classic 90's hip-hop, with classic boom-bap and jazz and soul samples.  The album featured guest shots from several COC members Cam'ron and McGruff on the classic posse cut  "8 iz Enuff", which also featured members of the COC's extended fam like Buddha Bless, Mike Boogie and Terra.  Check it out:



Around this time, McGruff linked up with Uptown/Universal Records after shopping his demo tape with Puffy.  Puff passed the demo along to his pal Heavy D, CEO of Uptown Records, and he put McGruff on.  McGruff was an exceptional, overlooked rapper who seamlessly blended gritty, grimy street talk with made for the club/ladies type of songs.  His debut album "Destined to Be" was released in 1998 and was a solid album from top to bottom and featured this awesome COC reunion track, "Dangerzone" featuring Big L and Ma$e:



Ma$e and Cam'ron really need no explaination.  Ma$e signed with Bad Boy Records in 1996 and helped usher in the shiny suit era alongside Puff.  Cam'ron came onto the scene in 1997 and immediately became a fan favorite.  After disappearing for a year or so, he resurfaced in late 2000/early 2001 with Jim Jones and Juelz Santana in tow and began the legendary Diplomats movement that changed Harlem forever and set more trends than probably any other rap group in history. 

Sadly, not all stories have happy endings.  Bloodshed died in 1996 after crashing his BMW in the Bronx in a terrible tragedy.  His name lives in being shout out by Cam'ron on many songs, and including have the song "Tomorrow" off Come Home with Me dedicated to him.  An unreleased freestyle of his was also featured on the Diplomats More than Music Vol 1. album, and showed the amazing lyrical dexterity and smoothed out delivery he posessed.  A tragic loss and one can only imagine how he would have played into the grand scheme of things in the Diplomats. Here's the classic Bloodshed performance, peep the ill beat:


Big L was really starting to catch in the rap industry, and a rumored deal with Roc-a-Fella was on the table in late 1998.  Sadly, Big L was gunned down on his own block in Harlem in February 1999.  He left behind an amazing legacy and his tribute album of sorts, consisting of classic and unreleased material entitled The Big Picture was released to massive acclaim in 2000.  Another tragedy, as Big L was one of the best pure spitters to ever grip a microphone and would have been even more renowned had he survived.  If it wasn't for him, Ma$e and Cam'ron might not have ever gotten their start.  Check out this classic L banger from The Big Picture:



As for everyone else, well, it's hard to really say.  Ma$e has flip-flopped back and forth since his infamous defection to become a pastor in 1999, only to return years later, leave again, return as a member of G-Unit, leave again, and now be back as the old Ma$e we all love from the Bad Boy era.  Having been a fan of Ma$e from day one and having several life changing decisions of my own, I never judged the man, only the music and have consistently been a supporter of his music.  His new mixtape I Do the Impossible is now available all over the internet.

Herb McGruff never really recovered on a visible level after Destined to Be failed to sell massive numbers.  He remained a fixture in the underground and was around during the early days of the Diplomat movement, appearing on many of their mixtapes and Cam'ron's 2001 album Come Home With Me.  Gruff recently got married and released some old demos, and he appeared on Ma$e's new mixtape, so who knows what the future holds for him. I can't see mega platinum fame after all these years, but I think he definitely still has a loyal fanbase out there, yours truly included.

Lastly, and possibly most consistenly successful, Cam'ron.  The man has been selling gold or better since his debut album, Confessions of Fire.  A successful artist, businessman and film maker, Cam has literally done it all and made a shitload of money in the process.  He successfully established a plethora of artists including Juelz, Jimmy Jones, Freekey Zeekey, Hell Rell and JR Writer.  After taking a hiatus, he resurfaced with this year's Crime Pays, which has sold close to 200,000 copies with zero promotion or radio play.  Cam is constantly hustling, as he has a few new artists (Vado, Byrd Lady, Charlie Clips) and plans to release a couple more movies.  It's hard to imagine the rap game without Killa Cam, and he should remain a player for year's to come.

The Children of the Corn.  It was a once in a lifetime combination of talent that likely won't be matched ever again, judging by the degeneration of the rap game.  For real hip-hop heads, their legacy is undeniable and will remain forever.  The original Harlem kingpins, Children of the Corn laid the foundation for the current breed of Harlem spitters and put the little neighborhood on the map.

Lady Gaga "Fame Monster" Review

Lady Gaga has stormed onto the scene in the past year and a half and just flipped the music industry on it's ear.  Admittedly, dance/techno music is NOT my thing.  As a matter of fact, I hate it with a passion.  I find majority of it to be just droning noise, highly irritating.  I'm also not into going to raves and shit like that so I guess I just don't get it.  So the first time I heard Lady Gaga, the song "Just Dance", I hated it.  Wrote it off as stupid techno bullshit, good for girls who have had a little too much to drink to shake their ass on the dancefloor.  Fine and dandy by me, but it wasn't an album I was gonna run out and buy...or download.

Then something happened.  I started seeing Lady Gaga everywhere, and I got sucked in.  Maybe it was her bodacious bod, or her voice, or the way everything she did just seemed to drip with sexuality that captured my attention.  The confidence and creativity that I discovered she had through her interviews, her cool videos...I guess she won me over the old fashioned way: with talent.  She stood out from the pack with her zany fashion sense and super-sexual lyrics and backed up the image with top-notch vocals (rivaling Beyonce or Christina Aguilera, IMO) and killer dance moves.  Her live performances also impressed me due to the fact that 1) she does not lipsynch like others and 2) manages to dance her ass off and still carry a tune.  So for everyone, like me, who just wrote Lady Gaga off as pointless dance music, take the time and really "get to know her", you won't regret you did.  Now onto the meat and potatoes of this review.

How does one follow up the hit machine that was "The Fame"?  I mean, that album was absolutely perfect in terms of the genre and it's execution.  There's not a single song I skip on that record.  Well, dare I say Gaga has really one upped herself, with an edgier, somewhat darker tone for this follow-up EP that is being released with the deluxe edition of "The Fame" this Tuesday.  The EP opens up with the current smash hit "Bad Romance".  It's classic Gaga with an awesome beat, catchy melody and typical lyrics.  The video is also one of the coolest I have seen in quite some time.

Gaga has often been compared to Madonna, and I will say there are some songs on here that show the similarities, albeit in a good way. At least she is imitating '80's Madonna (aka the good Madonna) and not the shitty Madonna we currently see.  Take for instance the Latin tinged tune "Alejandro".  Super catchy, just one of those songs that'll get stuck in your brain.  It brings back memories of "La Isla Bonita" but that song was bad-ass too, so I can't complain.  The highlight of the album to me has to be the song "Dancing in the Dark".  Over a pounding beat that just doesn't quit, Gaga belts out some pretty personal lyrics.  The melody is great, and just an awesome vocal performance.  The spoken word breakdown kinda reminds of "Vogue" by Madonna, but it's a cool homage nonetheless.  You definitely have to check out this song.


One track that should be melting the airwaves and filling dancefloors as we speak is "Telephone" featuring Beyonce.  Wow what an amazing song.  The beat is killer, you got two of the best voices going back and forth, what more do you want.  The subject matter is a little cliche but come on, this is dance music we are talking about.  This song does it's job which is making you move, and that's all you can ask for.

Hands down, this record is 8 tracks of pure heat from start to finish.  The only time it lets up is on track four, the cool piano ballad "Speechless".  It's songs like that that truly showcase Gaga's musical talents: no frills, no computerized beats, just her voice and a piano.  I downloaded this album, but after being impressed by "The Fame" and now "The Fame Monster" I am truly considering going and buying this CD on Tuesday.  If you still ain't sold on Gaga, now is the time.  Get with the program, and hail the current Queen of Pop.

Cine-Whack: The Worst of the Worst in Film: "Black Dog" (1998)

In the land of cheese-tastic movie, the Swayze is King....or at least close.  One glance at his resume, which include the all-time classic "Roadhouse" and "Dirty Dancing", when you need a man with a stone cold demeanor, tight blue jeans and a bad attitude, look no further than Swayze.  Sadly, the entertainment world lost this God amongst men earlier this year, so I figured I would pay homage to one of his lesser appreciated films, 1998's "Black Dog".

Where to begin? Swayze plays uber-bad ass Jack Crews, an ex-con who used to be a truck driver before he committed a vehicular manslaughter.  Out on parole, he is trying to piece his family back together by being an honest, hard working man.  Conveniently, he is offered a job running a load to Atlanta, without knowing the cargo.  He tries to do the right thing and turn down the job due to lack of license, but when he notices the poorly hidden eviction notice his wife hid in the kitchen drawer, he decides to do it.  He picks up the load from Red, a Bible-thumping truck owner who is really evil, played gleefully over the top by the one and only Meat Loaf.  RESPECT THE BOLO TIE.  Swayze is accompanied by a crew of misfits including: a bearded wonder named Earl, played by Randy Travis; token black dude; and a numbskull white guy there for comic relief.  About halfway through the route, they discover they are in for more than they bargained for as Red and his cronies try to hijack the load, which really contains a shitload of illegal weaponry.  With Red and the FBI hot on his tail, Jack Crew does the only thing he knows how: keep driving.

Let's begin with Swayze himself.  The man is the epitome of a grizzled truck driving ex-con.  He wears shades, alot of denim, and the same expresionless face the entire movie.  Don't believe me? Take a look:

He knows how to do two things: drive trucks, and kill.

That is the same expression he has the entire film, whether he is pissed off, sad, happy, or listening to Randy Travis sing awful songs about horoscopes.  He remains cool under pressure, and shows off some slick driving skills while behind the wheel of a big rig.  For instance, there's one point where Red and his boys are shoving a blue Camaro driven by Token Black Guy down the interstate SIDEWAYS for several miles.  He instructs the Black Guy to floor it at the last minute, and as the Bad Guys attempt to ram the Camaro, the Camaro escapes and the Bad Guys rear end the truck...AND BURST INTO FLAMES.  This happens not once, but twice...every car that attempts to take Swayze and his boys off the road ultimately meet a fiery death that is both hilarious and impossible.  You must see it to believe it. 

The FBI agents following the rig by surveillance are played comically by Charles S. Dutton and Stephen Tobolowsky, two gifted actors who appear to be slumming it for the sake of a paycheck.  Tobolowsky plays the cool-headed, zen like agent while Dutton plays the stereotypical angry Black police officer who shouts every line intensely and tries too hard to paint the seriousness of the situation.  Literally every line he speaks is spoken with the ferocity of a drill sargent and my life is better for it.  Pure comedy in every scene they are in. 

Meat Loaf...where to begin. Quotes the Bible, wears a Bolo tie and tight fitting western wear.  Reminds me of the serial bomber from that episode of "Walker Texas Ranger"...virtually the same exact character, and just as funny.  Meat Loaf is an amazing performer, but acting wise he has seen better days; watch either "Fight Club" or "Spice World" for proof.

In the end, Swayze of course saves the day, pays off his debt and lives happily ever after with his wife.  There are worse ways you can spend ninety minutes, that's for sure.  I could rattle off all the great one liners and hilarious bad acting, but really, save me the trouble and watch this yourself.  It's on HULU, for FREE, so if you got nothing to do tonight, watch this.  Patrick Swayze will thank you.

R.I.P PATRICK SWAYZE.

Back in The Day Review: "Little Giants" (1994)

At the urging of my good buddy Ryan Jamieson I sat down in front of my laptop, brought up You Tube and decided to brave the timeless "classic" movie "Little Giants".  As a young boy, I really loved this film.  I remember I saw it when it first came out at the Swap Shop Drive-In in Fort Lauderdale.  Eventually I owned the VHS and if I'm not mistaken, I owned the DVD at one time or another, but don't quote me on it.  All told, I've probably seen this cinematic gem upwards of twenty times or more.  It had been quite some time, at least seven or eight years, since I had seen it before Monday night.  Boy, had I forgotten how truly cheesy and downright amazing this movie actually is.

The plot is as cookie cutter and cliche as the term "cookie-cutter".  Rick Moranis plays Danny O'Shea, a meek and nerdy gas station owner with a tomboy daughter named Becky, aka "Icebox".  His older brother is Kevin O'Shea, hotshot ex-football star, car dealership owner and town celebrity.  Growing up, he always excluded Danny from playing football and Danny forever lived in his shadow.  Now that they are grown, and Kevin turned out to be the bigshot and Danny still the wimpy nerd, Kevin is in charge of the town's pee-wee football team, and stacks it with hotshot players.  Well, as hotshot as a group of ten year olds can be.  When he fails to select his own niece, due to the fact that she is a girl, Danny and Becky decide to form their own ragtag team of misfits called the Little Giants to battle Kevin's Cowboys in a match-up to determine the town's football team.  If you can't figure out how this movie ends, you deserve to be shot.

Let me be the first to say this movie has no shortage of awful dialogue or stereotypical characters.  My favorite is Kevin's assistant coach, the lunkhead Coach Butz.  Imagine Johnny's two flunkies in "The Karate Kid" rolled into one jelly doughnut of a man and you have Coach Butz.  If you can think of any bullying insult that has been used in any movie like this, chances are Coach Butz spews it in this movie.  Case in point: when Danny is questioning Kevin on why is daughter didn't get picked, Danny says, "Come on, everyone deserves a chance to play."  Butz then responds, with a weasely little laugh, "Not on this team!"  Butz is the typical sidekick lackey with mush for brains, evidenced when him and Kevin try spying on the Giants, and thinks he's stumbled upon their super secret play, when in fact they are just standing around.

Every character in this movie is a walking stereotype: you have Zolteck, the gassy fat kid who eats alot; Johnny, the kid who's dad is never around because he's always gone on business, maybe he shoulda been friends with Zach Morris;  pretty boy quarterback Junior Floyd;  Berman, the nerd with the overprotective mom who thinks he is allergic to anything and everything;  Hot Hands Hanon, the slick talking black kid who also happens to be a shitty wide receiver....the list goes on and on.

There's so much more to this movie than the actual story at hand.  Take the character of "Rad" Tad Simpson, a pipsqueak who stands about four feet tall, weighs about sixty pounds soaking wet.  In the opening tryouts scene, he is wearing one of those BAD-ASS shark attack shirts that were all the rage in the early '90's.  You know what I'm talking 'bout...the one's with the shark on the front with a couple rips in the side to make it look like a shark bit you.  RIGHTEOUS shirt and great call by the costume director.  Tad was otherwise about as useful as a nun's vagina in the grand scheme of things but I will never, ever foget that shirt.

Then you have Becky "The Icebox" O'Shea.  She is played by Shawna Waldron, and is portrayed as a real tomboy/closet dyke in the film.  The name "Icebox" was supposed to be an homage to William "The Refrigerator" Perry, but I like to think it was a sly term cooked up by the writers in a reference to her feminine parts, since she was such a tomboy, not interested in boys, you get where I'm going with this?  Anyway she turned out to be a super babe and shows her breasts in "Poison Ivy 3" so do yourself a favor and check that out.  Here's a pic of her to tide you over:

"Hey Spike, the Icebox is gonna defrost you!"--Junior Floyd, before the big game...I'd let her defrost me.

Ok another classic part of this movie is SPIKE.  When the Giants are looking for that last piece of the puzzle to make them a winner, Rick Moranis receives a tip about SPIKE, a new kid in town the size of an ox.  He carries refrigerators around on his back, does pull-ups on his dad's biceps and apparently, his father "massages his hamstrings every night with evaporated milk" so good chance his dad is also cornholing him.  There never was a mother mentioned.  SPIKE is a genetic freak, and when him and Icebox have their initial staredown he warns her that when you "mess with SPIKE, you're messing with DEATH!"  Heady talk for a children's movie, but Spike is one bad motherfucker.  I still wouldn't mess with Spike to this day, matter of fact.  Doing some research for this review, I saw he was a contestant on season 4 of "Beauty and the Geek".  Kinda loses some of his world-beating aura, but, he'll always be Spike to me.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3822423552/nm0395353

"SPIKE'S IN HELL...SPIKE'S IN PEE-WEE HELL!" (fuck you IMDB for not letting me post the picture, gotta click the link)

Another thing this movie has going for it is the cameos by NFL stars like John Madden, Emmitt Smith, Bruce Smith, Tim Brown and Steve Emtman, who look like they'd rather be doing anything else than be in this movie.  I especially loved Bruce Smith's wooden delivery in his speech on intimidation, and the fact that his scary face looked more like someone about to burst into laughter.

I could make fun of this movie more, there's so much material to mine, but I'll leave that up to you.  Fact is, it was a fun part of my childhood, and many a football game where played in the street or over at San Carlos where I would use lines from this movie.  If you ever tried to use the "Annexation of Puerto Rico" in a football game as a kid, then  this flick is for you.  Some douchebag posted the whole thing on youtube, so go on over and do yourself a favor and watch it tonight. 

Little Danny: Gee, I must be pretty bad if my own brother won't even pick me.
Little Kevin: Danny, look at it my way.
Little Danny: I stink and you know it. You're perfect and I stink. That's it! The End!
Little Kevin: No, that's not it. It's just that I'm so good that it makes you look really bad.

 

The little things in life

Figured I'd go with a stream of consciousness blog today since I haven't been feeling well.  I've tried to watch like three movies in the past few days in order to review them, but always managed to fall asleep halfway through...so maybe one day, but for now, you'll get me: hopped up on Dayquil, Cherry Pepsi and bright outlook on life.  If positivity is not your gig, I suggest exiting stage left because this entry is gonna be about all the little things in life that make me happy to be here on this wacked out planet.

*Eating peanuts and getting an elusive shell that contains three peanuts instead of two.  This is like, the eating equivalent of winning a $10 scratch off ticket.  It's a welcome surprise, not life changing, but still pretty sweet.

*Pabst Blue Ribbon in a can.  Ain't nothing sweet, babay.  I'm not much of a drinker really...not as much as I was at one time...but then there was also a time when I saw straight-edge...and another time when I was into hardcore drugs...so who knows with me....but when I do drink, nothing but PBR will suffice.

*Hearing a song for the first time and getting goosebumps.  Everyday I try to discover new music.  Everyday I usually succeed at finding an awesome tune that just hits the right note with me.  Call me crazy, but music is therapy for me, and speaks right to my soul. 

*Waking up in the morning.  That's enough for me these days.  Some days I used to dread my daily routine, hated a lot of things: myself, other people, blah blah.  Since becoming more enlightened through some of the readings and studying I have done, nothing makes me happier than waking up, looking out the window and seeing the sun.

*When two things synch up absolutely perfectly.  Ever watch a movie trailer and the music in the background just melts your fuckin' face off, and gets you so pumped to see it? The perfect synergy of sight and sound...I get off on that.

*Getting around really far when your gas tank is on "E".  Don't totally believe in God, but sometimes I wonder how I managed to make some 25 mile round trips with basically a thimble full of gasoline in the tank.  Basically whenever I can make nothing somehow turn into something, I feel a great sense of accomplishment.  I have become somewhat of a master at that, to be honest.

*Giving it my all every single time I do something.  The "X's" on my wrist used to mean something totally different...now, they represent my mindstate: All or Nothing.  X, in algebra can be an infinite amount of things...but also to X something out, can make it nothing at all.  That is how you should approach your life:  all the way, or don't fuckin' bother.

*"The Office".  Is it just me, or the more absurd the characters become, the more they become characature's of themselves and the situations become less realistic, the better the show has become?  They have pushed Dwight and Andy so far over the edge into absolutely insane territory and they are funnier than ever.

*The way young kids interpret things.  Makes me smile every time I get my little brother or sister's take on a situation they have no understanding of.  Takes me back to my youth, and makes me appreciate it more.

*Positivity.  Be amazed at how much better your life is when you just...be happy, regardless of what the fuck is going on.  You be happy, can't nobody stop you.  Life is what you make it...so make it good!

My Favorite Songs, Vol 2: The Used, "Blue and Yellow"

For me, events in my life are marked by music.  Songs can take me back to specific days and times in my life, and for better or worse, can remind me of events.  Sometimes, it's a good memory.  Other times, shit I wish I had forgotten.  Today's song falls somewhere in the middle of that, as it brings me back to a point not too long ago.  I was in a serious relationship with this girl, and at one point in time, thought it would last forever.  Ultimately, and for the best for both of us, it didn't.  But there's nothing wrong with looking back and reminiscing regardless of how you feel now, so, here it goes.  First a little info about the band and the song.

The Used formed in 2001 and ever since then have been the kings of heart-on-the-sleeve, dark, angry, and overall emotional rock.  To me, nobody does it quite better.  Bert McCracken, the grimy looking lead singer, is your standard tortured soul prototype, with enough psychological baggage and past (current?) drug problems to make Kurt Cobain look strong by comparison.  Lucky for us, the listener, McCracken has channeled that rage, anger, sadness and depression into some of the tightest tracks in the history of the emo/screamo genre. 

I can find a relatable theme in just about any of their songs.  Having traversed a rocky road in life myself, most of the subject matter is stuff I am familiar with:  bitter breakups? Check.  Substance abuse? Check.  Anger, loneliness, hostility? Check, check, check.  So for me, this band's music, along with My Chemical Romance's "The Black Parade" album got me through some troubled times in my life and when I listen now, it's quite therapeutic. 

The song that rings most true to me out of all The Used classics is "Blue and Yellow".  The opening guitar/piano riff just sets the tone for whats to come. The vocals go from hushed to a scream, and the emotion just bleeds off the track.  The lyrics can be interpreted a number of ways.  The song is supposedly about the friendship between McCracken and bandmate/fellow songwriter Quinn Allman.  However if you dig deeper, it really personifies the feeling of love and longing.  The feeling when you finally have someone you care about, it's an indescribable feeling, that you'll never find by looking for it, it just happens.  When you're apart from that person, it can burn a hole right to the core of you, and all you'd rather do is waste some time with that person.  That's just how I interpret it, I'm sure people may say I'm wrong or have their own beliefs, but songs are all about what you feel and get out of them, and if you disagree to that, I say go fuck yourself.

This song takes me back to how I once felt about this one particular girl.  Even though the feeling has faded and gone over time, every time I hear this song, I'm taken back to that time when I really thought love could last forever.  Sometimes it makes me sad, other times I appreciate the opportunity I had to really know what love was, no matter that it's gone.  One way or another, it evokes emotion, and that's what a song is meant to do.  Without further ado, The Used, "Blue and Yellow".


"Blue and Yellow" is available on The Used self-titled debut album on Warner Bros./Reprise Records

D. Rugs: Another Girl Lost

The following is a true story of something that happened to me last night.  Names have been changed to protect the innocent.  The soundtrack for today's blog is "Black Girl Lost" by Nas and "D. Rugs" by Cam'ron, hence the title of the blog.




So there it was a Wednesday evening in the Big City.  Game 6 of the World Series.  The stupid Yankees and Phillies are playing so I could really give two shits, but I was there for the atmosphere and who knows, maybe some potential babes.  I'm posted up in the outdoor tiki bar, sitting at my corner table, one deep as always.  I spark up a Newport and sip from my PBR, trying to unwind after a long, stressful day at work.  Usually when I'm out I try, for the most part, to avoid other people.  I don't like making friends, I don't wanna be your buddy, I just wanna be left alone. Unless of course you're a female.  It was business as usual until She walked in.  Out of all the tiki bars in the world, She had to walk into mine.

She was a stunner, that's for sure.  About five-seven, wearing tight jeans, knee high boots, a low cut top showing her ample bosom and brunette (which my absolute preference bar none after my disastrous run with a red head).  She looked a little inebriated, well, alot inebriated and She was going from table to table.  I assumed She knew these people, maybe she was a popular gal.  Turns out she was just wasted.  Well, She sits at the table beside me and asks for a lighter.  I oblige and She offers me to sit down and talk with her. 

The first thing I keep thinking is "Man, She is hot".  She really was, despite her drunken state, you could tell underneath it all She was a radiant gal.  She proceeds to tell me She's new in town, doesn't have many friends, and works as a horse trainer.  I tell her I am also new in town and immediately She suggests we be friends and have out more and blah blah blah.  I get her number and stuff and everything is hunky-dory.  I notice though she is having trouble keeping her eyes open.  When I see her reach down and unzip the side of her boot I see why.

She had a stash of Xanax pills stashed in her boot and she was popping them like candy.  It broke my heart to see it.  I tried to keep her occupied, so we went to play pool.  Meanwhile, every so often She would wonder off and I'd see her hanging all over some other dude or being felt up by another chick.  There was even one point I left her alone and came back to find another girl sucking on her breasts as a dude filmed it.  Yeah, it was outrageous and I felt sick about it, so I pulled her aside and said she needed to leave, and I would take her home.  She was allowing herself to be taken advantage of, stumbling around, and I shudder to think what woulda happened if I left her there.

Instead of being grateful for my help, She responded indignantly that I was trying to "control" her and that she knew what she was doing...despite evidence of the contrary.  So I said fuck it and walked away.  Sure enough, She returned twenty minutes later saying how grateful She was that I was looking after her and not trying to take advantage and how she would like to leave now.  By this point her eyes were almost totally shut, she was slurring really bad and could barely walk two steps straight.  She was drugged out of her gourd.

On the car ride home, which took about thirty minutes because she kept telling me to turn wrong ways because she wanted to "spend more time with me", I saw a side of her that made me feel like she was a good person deep down.  She proclaimed her love of horses, how the job meant everything to her, how she was a much different person when she wasn't drunk.  She spoke of how she wanted to hang out when she was sober, and how I was so nice, and took care of her and didn't wanna just use her like everyone else.  I could see through the drug induced fog surrounding her that She just needed a friend, or someone to care for her. 

I dropped her off at her home, she kissed me goodbye and I went on my merry way.  I don't think I will ever call her.  It's that kind of baggage I don't need in my life anymore, but I saw someone in distress and decided to help them.  I have been there before...drugs had a control of my life for many years, and I did many things that I regret and embarassed myself numerous times.  I can't understand why people use drugs, now that I am clean.  I see people when they are fucked up, and I see the pain and desperation on their faces.  It breaks my heart and I guess, having been there, done that, I always wanna reach out and help someone. 

This girl has everything going for her.  A great career, good looks and from what I could tell from the glimmers of conscious thought she had shown, she had brains too.  Yet She is pissing it all away to pop pills and let herself be objectified by men.  It makes me sick.  And it makes me sad.  But there's girls like her everywhere, that care about and fall for the wrong types of guys, who don't appreciate help and can't respect acts of kindness.  It's depressing to watch, and yet I was an idiot once again from trying to save someone who can't even save themselves.

I wish some women would have more faith in themselves and not let themselves be viewed as pieces of meat or sexual objects. A real man doesn't want a woman like that, nor do I even usually give them a second glance.  I'm not that desperate to chase women, I don't need it in my life to survive.  But these girls out there, being foolish, running with the wrong types of dudes and pissing their lives away, when they have so much potential, I will never understand.  In this case, it was obviously drugs that had taken ahold of this girl and she is so far lost in it she doesn't even realize it.  That's what drugs will do to you...strip everything away until nothing else matters but getting high.  By then you're so fucked up you don't even realize how fucked up you really appear to others and those around you.

Drugs are for losers and douchebags.  I know.  I once was one.  But not anymore.  It took the inner strength inside me and the encouragement of friends and family but I rose above.  I wish other people would too and realize being high is not all it's cracked up to be. 

Until then, I suppose these girls will just keep breaking my heart.

No More Heroes

Childhood memories are often not all they are cracked up to be.  Looking back, most of the games I played on Nintendo that I thought were good really sucked ass.  "Full House" was can't miss TV when I was 7 but watching it now, it's painfully corny and unfunny.  I used to say I had better toys as a kid than they do now until I see Nintendo Wii, DS and fuckin' Bakugan.  I mean, yeah, Ninja Turtles and He-Man were the shit, but it was primitive.  No matter what anyone tells you, I wouldn't trade a DS or PSP for a fucking Pound Puppy or Cabbage Patch Doll any day of the week.  No sir!

That brings me to the topic of today's blog: Hulk Hogan.  As a child, I was a Hulkamaniac through and through.  I also liked bad guys like Ravishing Rick Rude, "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig and the "Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase.  But if it wasn't for the Hulkster, I woulda never started watching wrestling.  The dude had it all: an epic 'stache, chiseled physique, swank bandana and a theme song that could give goosebumps to even the most hardened anti-patriot terrorist.  When that music hit the speakers in arenas around the globe, you knew it was fuckin' go time:



Hulk was the man.  He played Thunderlips in "Rocky III"...he slammed Zeus THROUGH THE RING in "No Holds Barred" and he was man enough to don a tutu in "Mr. Nanny".  In the ring, Hulk inspired millions of youngsters and rallied a nation.  He vanquished the Iron Shiek in Madison Square Garden in January of 1984 to capture his first world championship and "Hulkamania" was born on that night, brother.

Hogan proved that all it took to stand up to adversity in life was belief in yourself, training, saying your prayers and taking your vitamins.  No challenge was too great for the Hulkster.  Hell, he took on the 7'4", 500 pound Andre the Giant in front of 93,000 fans in the Pontiac Silverdome at Wrestlemania III, jack!  As a kid, I thought it was impossible.  The episode of Piper's Pit, where Andre was (rightfully so) pissed cuz Hogan won this giant trophy for being champ for three years while Andre only got a puny one for a seperate accomplishment that escapes me.  Andre had enough, yanked Hogan's prized crucifix from his throat and left him there while Roddy Piper played the role of Captain Obvious, staring at Hulk's chest and saying "Hulk, you're bleeding...you're bleeding".  How was Hogan possibly gonna bounce back from that travesty?  Well, he did and when he bodyslammed Andre in the middle of the ring and dropped the mammoth legdrop, I knew anything was possible.

I remember being distraught when Earthquake (a fat slob who was pushed as a monster hellbent on destroying Hulkamania) squashed Hogan's ribs on the Brother Love Show. Tugboat, an equally fat slob who dressed like a gay sailor but was Hogan's ally, shilled Hogan friendship bracelets to help raise money for Hulkster's recovery.  I didn't know how Hulk would do it but he came back and vanquished the 'Quake just like everyone else before him.

The Hulkster would go on to wage many more wars, from The Undertaker to Ultimate Warrior to Vader to Sting, and each time, somehow, some way he would leave an indelible mark on me as an impressionable youth.  Hulk Hogan was hero who never let me down.

Fast forward about fifteen years and I'm now 25 years old, and a lot more cynical, bitter and jaded.  I don't have any heroes anymore, hell, I don't have much of anything anymore.  I have a firm belief in myself, a love for those close to me and that's about it.  I see Hulk Hogan now, and I see the fraud that he was all along.  He said to "train, say your prayers and take your vitamins"...meanwhile he was injecting steroids and snorting coke.  He embarassed himself by shilling ripoff Foreman grills and exploiting his family through a reality show.  His wife divorced him, his son nearly killed another dude in a senseless street racing accident, and Hogan began to expose more kinks in his own armor.  He admitted he wanted to kill himself recently, but Muhammed Ali's daughter stopped him.  He is currently set to return to the ring wrestling fellow dinosaur and disgrace Ric Flair on a tour of Australia.  All of this stuff just piled on top of each other, shattering another piece of my childhood bit by bit.

I turn on wrestling now and it's just a live action cartoon.  No drama, no intrigue.  Just a comedy show that is painful to watch and hard to care about anymore.  Sometimes I feel for the kids who don't get to see the awesome stuff I saw growing up, instead they are stuck with goofballs like John Cena and lunkhead Batista.  But then I think about people like Hulk Hogan, and think, maybe I shouldn't feel so bad after all. 

The moral of this story is appreciate the innocence of your childhood while you have it.  One day, when you are old enough and wise enough to know better, you'll realize everything that seemed magical and inspiring was just a bunch of horseshit.  There's no such thing as a hero, or an idol.  A hero resides in you, because nobody else needs or deserves the pressure of trying to be your hero.  Look at Hulk Hogan...he's proven he isn't so "Immortal" after all, paying the price for having to be your hero.

DVD Review: "Into the Wild" (2007)

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Marcia Gay Harden, Vince Vaughn, John Hurt, Kristen Stewart, Zach Galifianakis, Jena Malone

Written and Directed by: Sean Penn

Hello again faithful readers.  Usually I am ahead of the curve when it comes to feature films, but I will admit, I slept on "Into the Wild" when it was released a couple years ago.  Despite all the hoopla and praise it received, for one reason or another I just never got around to it.  Well, I finally saw it at the urging of my girl L and here's what I thought.

"Into the Wild" is a true story based upon the 1996 book of the same name by John Krakauer.  The tale focuses on the adventures of Christopher McCandless, a well-to-do college student who tires of the materialistic and high society ways of his parents and embarks on a cross country journey to find himself and a true purpose to his life.  It eventually takes him deep into the wilderness of Alaska where Chris finds out that maybe being with the ones you love and living a normal life isn't so bad after all.

First thing's first I want to say that the highlight of this movie is Emile Hirsch, who plays Christopher, aka "Alexander Supertramp", the name he gives himself early on in his travels.  I have been singing this dude's praises for his stellar acting chops for awhile now.  He was awesome in "Alpha Dog" and "Milk".  He has appeared in a few stinkers, like "Girl Next Door" and "Speed Racer" but this dude is a bright young actor who's got a lot of success ahead of him.  It's a shame people like Shia Labeouf and Channing Tatum get more mainstream films and success but that's life, true talent rarely gets rewards these days.  Hirsch really pulled out all the stops in a challenging role, showcasing a wide range of emotions and believability in a variety of situations.

I can relate to the overall theme of the story which is the need and desire to find yourself or perhaps a greater meaning to existence.  I feel people as a whole tend to resent their upbringings or situations in their life.  How often do you hear someone say, "I hope I never turn out like my mother/father"?  Children of privilege as well can either turn out one of two ways:  spoiled rotten or wanting more out of life.  Growing up, at least from the age of 11 or 12 till right after high school, I would say I lead a pretty charmed life due to my parents.  But I saw the way money made people act, the way it made people treat others and ultimately, the realization that money and status don't mean shit.  I grew to resent it and in a sense, embarked on an "Alexander Supertramp" odyssey of my own.  Except I didn't venture into the wilderness, I ventured to the depths of personal despair and self destruction but ultimately came to the same result:  the grass isn't always greener, and sometimes, life just is, there is no greater purpose to living.

Another highlight of this movie for me was the mesmerizing score and songs by Eddie Vedder.  The music in the scene when Christopher first discovers the "Magic Bus" (an abandoned bus that would serve as his shelter and eventually, his tomb) is haunting and surreal.  It gives you a feeling of wonderment and discovery but also a sense of impending doom.  The instrumental actually reminded me of the song "Jesus Christ" by Brand New...and I wonder if Jesse Lacey knows about this, haha.  

People say the ending is a bit sad, and I guess it's all in how you look at it.  To me, I felt it was necessary...well, mostly because it is a true story and that's what really happened.  It's probably the same fate that would befall most people if they attempted the same lifestyle that Christopher was shooting for.  But I think that in learning the valuable lesson before his death that Christopher came full circle and fulfilled what he was searching for all along.  

Honestly, this movie is highly deserving of all the praise and accolades it received.  I think it should be required viewing for anyone after graduating high school or college, or anyone who is unsure with what they want out of life.  It's a really eye-opening film that you can relate to on so many levels.  It certainly made me think about things in my past and even my present, and any movie that can move you and make you think has done it's job in my book.  "Into the Wild" is an awesome mix of visual, audio and emotional beauty that you must experience for yourself.

RATING:  4 OUT OF 4 STARS