Livin' After Midnight: The Late Night Wars

 The late night talk show landscape is no stranger to heated rivalries.  Way back when, Jay Leno and David Letterman competed for the coveted "Tonight Show" seat being vacated by the incomparable Johnny Carson (IMO, the greatest talk show host of all time).   Letterman had for all intents and purposes been given his big break thanks to Carson, who used Letterman as a regular guest host on the "Tonight Show" in the '80's.  When Carson vacated the "Tonight Show" throne in '93, everyone was expecting Letterman to get the gig but it instead went to The Chin, who ruled it with an iron first for almost 17 years.  Letterman bounced to CBS and made history of his own, but his bitterness and anger towards Leno at the time (and even showing flashes of it now) is eerily similar to a certain pale skinned red-headed Irishman by the name of Conan O'Brien.

Let me go out of my way and say Conan is the fuckin' man.  I watched Late Night with Conan O'Brien  RELIGIOUSLY through high school and the early part of my college days.  From the early days with Andy Richter, to the Masturbating Bear and the Coked Up Werewolf, Conan spoke directly to my sense of humor.  His random, off kilter style that was shown brilliantly during his time as a writer on The Simpsons was a breath of fresh air when compared to the tame, family friendly garbage that Leno was providing.  Leno may have worked for the baby boomer and older crowd, used to the cheesy comedy stylings of yesteryear from people like Milton Berle, Bob Hope and the like.  But it was the 2000's baby.  People liked their comedy smarter, edgier and wiser.  Mr. O'Brien provides that in spades.  Shit, ya know the whole Chuck Norris craze? You can pretty much credit that to Conan O'Brien, as he was the first to truly lampoon Walker, Texas Ranger and bring it back to the public conscience.  Here, take a peek:

Conan & Walker Texas Ranger (Live on Conan Jan 4th 2008)
Uploaded by nono_the_bean. - Click for more funny videos.

Anyway, by now we all know the story...back in 2004, Conan signed a deal declaring that he would be taking over the "Tonight Show" in 2009.  Jay Leno would step aside gracefully and all would be right with the world....except it wasn't.  In 2008, almost at the 11th hour, it was announced Leno would in fact be getting his own primetime show, five nights a week, from 10-11.  But it was gonna be like, so totally different from the "Tonight Show" so don't worry, Conan.  Except, motherfucker...IT WAS THE EXACT SAME THING.  Sure, they stretched out the monologue and added a few more ridiculous skits to pad time, but there was Kevin "I'm a Stooge Ass Uncle Tom Who Laughs at Anything" Eubanks, and the set looked similar, and there were still guests...if I didn't know any better, this was just "The Tonight Show" but airing at an earlier hour so the aging geriatrics who enjoy Leno's humor didn't have to stay up later anymore.  And they sure didn't because Conan's ratings went right into the toilet.  But so did Leno's...because people had no desire to watch a comedy program of that nature five nights a week in that timeslot.  That time was usually reserved for "Law and Order" or powerhouse shows like "ER".  People like their comedy and talk in the late night hour...so not only did Leno bomb, Conan took a bullet because of it as well.

So what does NBC do?  Why, what any other cash-strapped major network would do: panic and try to put things back the way they used to be.  This in turn means giving Conan O'Brien the old shaft right up the cornhole.  I am not gonna break it down for your blow by blow, as if you are taking the time to read this, you probably have a vested interest in the proceedings and don't need the backstory.  But the skinny of it is that Leno is going back to 11:35, and Conan is the odd man out.  The entertainment world has been rocked by these developments, and the vast majority have joined Team Conan (yours truly included, although I consider myself an original member). 

Stepping to the plate for Conan is the wild-card.  The third wheel, if you will, in all this.  I'm talking about Mr. Jimmy Kimmel.  Jimmy is a helluva guy, a genuine nice guy.  I read an article on him in Playboy a year or so ago, and he is a caring, real individual who enjoys sports, cooking, and being with friends and family.  The type of guy who would give you the shirt off his back.  Plus he is funny as hell and at one time (perhaps still is?) was banging Sarah Silverman.  For those not familiar with Ms. Silverman, soak this in for a second:

That's a hot Jew.

First, Kimmel fired a shot by impersonating and lampooning Leno for entire episode of his late night program.  The next night, Jay had Kimmel on an episode of his show on the "Ten at Ten" segment.  Things seemed to be going smoothly until Kimmel squeezed in a few well-placed digs at Jay that had Leno and the audience squirming.  It's pretty obvious that Jay Leno is not winning many new supporters, and that being exposed as the politicking, back-door dealing backstabber he is is leaving a sour taste in a lot of people's mouths.  Here's Kimmel laying into Jay on last night's show:

So where does this leave Conan?  My hopes is that he quits NBC and goes elsewhere.  There had been talk of him moving to FOX but apparently those rumors were squashed.  Seems the NBC brass are now angling to keep O'Brien off the air for the next three years until his contract expires.  Smart move on their part as it seems one way or another they will have to pay Conan the remainder of his contract, and obviously, they wouldn't want to do so as he works for a competing network.  If I was Conan I would go to Comedy Central and try to bolster their comedy line-up.  Could you imagine the triple-threat of Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien?  It's a comedy nerds wet dream, and I think would be amazing.  However, Conan is used to that network TV money, so it's a safe bet he stays on one of the major networks.


At the end of the day, this drama has provided everyone with some great comedy and intrigue.  Hell, the ratings for Conan's show have gone through the roof in light of this.  Perhaps it's all a big publicity stunt? Nah...I would like to think not, but how cool would it be if it was?  In closing, I just wanna say to Mr. Leno, your comedic style was outdated ten years ago, you are a relic of a bygone era.  You have failed to adapt with the times, yet cannot let go of your spot and let the next generation through.  You remind me of someone like Hulk Hogan or Ric Flair, an old dinosaur who refuses to let go of the limelight and dies a slow, painful, unfunny death right before our eyes.  Take your "Headlines" and go "Jaywalk" into oncoming traffic...your behavior is despicable.


VIVA LA CONAN!!